The Sneeze

He lay on the observation deck. His head was sore, his olfactory system had been overrun and his body would periodically convulse in what the planets inhabitants rather inelegantly called 'a sneeze'. The very thought of the word made him shiver. He checked again as his biometrical interface confirmed what he already knew, he was under attack from one of the most common viruses on this curious little planet and for now the virus was in the ascendancy. He stared out into the vast star field, it was endlessly curious to him that chemistry seemed so life striving. Wherever their mission took them the specimens all contained the same building blocks and yet the variety that had emerged from these simple reactions was staggering and without fail could be described as organic life. This particular organism was impossibly small and in total contrast to the distance he had travelled yet it was having such a large impact on him. It must be an immune response he thought as for the first time he had an overwhelming feeling that he wanted to go home.

The Council room was located in the centre of the circular ship it had a large transparent domed enclosure and made for a dramatic setting. Commander Lila lay back and looked up at the pale blue sphere that hung out in space, she grinned to herself, she had asked the ships navigator to orientate the ship so the planet the inhabitants called Earth would hang above them. They had been here over 300 rotations of the planet and now the decision had to be made. Eleven of the twelve seats had been filled and the Commander knew who the missing seat was for. Organicist Soren was one of the most frustratingly gifted researchers she had ever met. He always was able to withstand long observing periods on the planet surfaces. He would work in close contact with the inhabitants and collect huge amounts of information about the planets societies, rituals and most importantly of all would provide guidance as to the inhabitant's future viability. He was also lazy and unpredictable. He had once removed all of his biometrical interfaces and disappeared for two days, in itself remarkable, however the planet had no land mass and seemingly he managed to spend two days underwater with shoals of what would be considered vermin on the home world. Commander Lila shook herself irritably and left the meeting room she knew where he would be.

The door brushed open, Soren's ears could sense the presence of another and he raised his weary head. He asked his biometrical interface to make an estimation of the mass of his head and to his disbelief it reported that it was within normal operating mass. As he considered why his head felt so heavy the steely voice of the Commander cut through the air.
"Soren, yet again we await your arrival, this is the fourth viability forum of this tour and you have been late for them all"
"I apologise Commander however this time I believe I have reason for my tardiness, my systems seem to be under attack from what the inhabitants of Earth call 'the cold'" Soren replied
"Computer, what is the temperature on the observation deck"
Temperature has been optimised to the metabolic rate of Organicist Soren came the reply.
"you see" the commander replied "the temperature is optimal, is your nervous system operating correctly?"
Soren ignored the question and sighed he knew an explanation would be an inefficient way to spend the next few moments. The Commander was from a security background and was only slowly learning to appreciate the wondrous biology that the organicists spent their lives classifying. He roused himself and rose unsteadily to his feet. "I'm sorry commander let us go", his head pounded as they took the short walk to the meeting room, he swiftly instructed his biometric control to deliver appropriate chemicals to numb the responses of his protesting neuroreceptors. He slumped in to the large oversized seat that lay empty in the now bustling room. The Commander rose to her feet. "Council, for the final time on this tour we must classify the planet known as Earth, we have been here for a long time, we have all been observing the data streams that come from the planet and we must make a decision. Should we make contact with this civilization or should we depart and return again in five generations time. I invite the Council to consider these two options." The oldest Councillor in the room rose to her feet "Councillors, Commander, I have been watching the output from this planet and find the content to be disjointed and senseless, the number of societies is bewildering. The inhabitants seem to have embraced their differences to such a degree that there is almost no common thread that runs through them, I get no feeling of uniformity amongst them. As we have seen on many other planets that without uniformity progress is stunted and will inevitably lead to conflict and most cases mutual destruction. It is my recommendation that we leave this planet and do not return as it is simply a matter of time before a third and final world conflict will weaken the population to such a degree that they will never recover" there was murmur of approval around the room. The meeting continued with several of the other Councillors standing to give overviews of technology, military capabilities and resources, they then would conclude with their own opinions on the planets viability. The mood in the room was still indecisive by the time it was Soren's turn to address the assembled group, he stood up unsteadily.

"Councillors, I have spent almost 200 rotations on the surface and find the inhabitants to be one of the most intriguing species that we have studied. The more developed societies as a herd display obsessive behaviours towards the most inconsequential of activities however there are smaller populations within these societies that have made the most astounding leaps of comprehension. It has become clear to me that this planet has reached a technological turning point, their 'scientists' are on the precipice of a great advance much like the convergence that so changed our own society and...." He felt the urge, he could not stop it, his respiratory system convulsed, the material that was clogging his olfactory system was explosively expunged. Soren sneezed. The sound hung in the air as the shocked Councillors leapt to their feet.
"What has happened Organicist Soren?" demanded the Elder councillor.
"I assure you Councillors that what you have just experienced is my immune system responding to a minor incursion by a tiny organism called a 'virus' that has found refuge in my respiratory systems." A number of voices spoke at the same time.
"Is it dangerous?" demanded another,
"Does it pose a threat to the ship?" pleaded another,
The Commanders voice cut through the commotion "Councillors, please let us not be hasty, Soren has assured me that this virus poses no threat to either the ship or himself and simply will run its course. It is common on the surface and the ships main processors have determined......." She couldn't stop herself, a twitching sensation followed by an explosive release, for the second time the Councillors leapt to their feet. The Commander was covered in mucus. The Councillors fled for the exit and within moments the only two left in the Council room were Soren and the Commander. Soren offered the Commander a square of fabric "the inhabitants call it a 'hankerchief'" she snatched it from him and wiped the mucus away. The Commander stormed out of the room. Soren checked his biometric interface, his mucus production was at maximum. Soren walked slowly to the observation deck, he needed a lie down.

4 rotations of the planet later the Ranius 8 departed the gravitational pull of the star locally called the Sun. Beyond the sight of the inhabitants it left behind a powerful transmitter outside the furthest satellite of the star. The transmitter pointed outward and its message penetrated deep into the spiral arm of the galaxy, the stellar neighbourhood would be bathed in its signal. The signal simply said in all dialects and known computer coding 'Quarantined, biological hazard. Quarantined, biological hazard ......' the message repeated over and over.

THE END