Cardfight!! Vanguard: Generations Volume 1.5 [Dr Yukimura]

Chapter 8: Yukimura Fudou's Soliloquy

This past month has been a whirlwind of events. Everything up until now has been one of the worst months of my life.

It started back on the 1st of May, when Chabashira-sensei revealed to us what this trash school was actually like. I was obviously furious, as all the freedom I was promised by the school had been ripped away from me. I recognise my attitude during April was probably a huge reason why we lost all of our class points.

The lack of private points also hurt deeply. After given this extravagant amount to spend, they suddenly pulled the plug on us. It was like going cold turkey, it wasn't fair! Since I spent most of my points, I had to now somehow live another 4 weeks with what I barely had left? It was ridiculous.

What got to me the most was being insulted by a teacher I liked and being repeatedly told that I was in a class made specifically for defects. I wanted to hit, shout and tear everyone else in that class apart, because I was nothing like them. I knew that what she said wasn't true, yet... I still gave into those words.

Maybe it was because subconsciously, I knew that to be the truth.

Ever since I broke Keiki's legs, my life has always been on a downwards spiral. For the first time, I felt dark emotions that, and didn't know how to deal with them except turning it into anger, which resulted to me being violent towards others. I pretended I was okay, lying to myself that being alone was cool, but in actuality, I hated every moment of middle school.

But I thought, screw it. I'm not going to follow this broken system. I'm going to act how I've always acted, it doesn't matter. At this school, I had my football skills and real friends to carry me through these three years. I didn't care. I didn't even bother doing anything for the midterms, even though the idea of it irritated me.

Then, everything changed. For better or for worse.

It was all because I met Nora, the first person to encourage me to change my ways. Unlike everyone else, he was willing to hear me out without interfering or jumping to conclusions, and because of that, we became friends, even though I hurt him the first time we met.

Back then, I was pissed because I ran into a weakling. The type of person I absolutely hated back then. But now, I feel regret for shoving him to the floor and knocking that book out of his hands. I was so stupid, I forgot to apologise to him until two weeks later, and he still accepted it.

Most of all, I could see a little bit of myself inside of him. Seeing him get bullied, ostracised, and teased reminded me of what Keiki did to me after I snapped his legs in two. He turned the whole school against me, and I was left friendless and defenceless to their endless harassment.

I didn't want a school life like that for him. Nora deserved better, because unlike me, he didn't deserve to be in E Class at all. He's polite, kind and hard-working, yet the school decided he was defective? It was a joke, considering there were similar types of people in the other classes.

Even if he's weak, he had amazing intelligence, but no one cared about that. They'd rather take advantage of his shyness and abuse him, yet when people did it, he never retaliated. He took the pain and never acted violently to them. It was irritating that he couldn't stand up for himself, but the control he exerted was the sort of thing I wish I had back in middle school. I respected it.

That's why I became the type of person he could be friends with, so he didn't have to suffer a painful life like I did in middle school. We were in the same boat, after all. If those guys want to target an E Class student, then they should target me, not him. I'd fight back, no matter how many times, in order to protect myself and the people I care about. That's what I wanted.