The Swap

Chapter 7 Ellie

As soon as I wake up on the first day of school, I begin tearing through my closet trying to find something, anything, to wear that doesn't make me look like I still sleep with my teddy bear (I do). No matter how what I try on, I just look in the mirror and think I look terrible in everything. Plus I hear in my head:

That yellow shirt? Ughh, gross! You look like a walking highlighter!
Flared jeans? So. Not. Okay.
Leggings? Leggings are not pants!

When it comes to fashion, I have no clue. I mean, when did this suddenly become such a huge deal? Nobody cared about this stuff befor we got to Thatcher. I have no idea how you're supposed to look stylish and cool. Before this summer, I never even cared. But now, suddenly, one hour before I am officially in seventh grade, I care. I care, and I hate that I care. Do you know what I mean? And did I even mention my hair? No, I think I did not. Not a good situation happening up there.

I finally settle on my favorite T-shirt and jeans, tie my messy, red, crazy hair back into a ponytail, and give up.

Downstairs my mom is in much too good a mood for the first day of school.

"Morning sunshine!" She sings.

"I have no clothes!" I say. I sit down at the kitchen table. "Seriously, I have, like, nothing to wear! Can we please, please, pleeeeease go shopping? Pretty please?"

"Ellie," says my mom. She's standing by the stove, and I can tell by the way she says my name I'm about to get some sort of lecture. "I'm not going to argue with you this morning, but really, sweetheart, you sound a little bit ridiculous. If you went through all your clothes on your floor, you'd probably find loads of cute outfits you don't even know you have!"

"Oh, forget it," I say.

But she's not done.

"Also, Ellie, if this needing new clothes business is about a certain someone, I don't think you need to change your clothes I think you need to think about changing your friends."

"Oh my stars, mom," I say. "Forget it!"

My mom places a plate full of my favorite homemade waffles with maple syrup and melted butter in front of me. "Let's focus on the positive." Her smile grows. "Can you believe it? Seventh grade!"

I push the plate away. "Whatever. I'm not hungry."

"Don't be silly and don't be rude. Please Ellie. You need to eat, its not good to go all day without breakfast. Do you want to take a bagel and eat it on the bus?"

"Sure." I shrug.

My mom sits down at the table across from me. "Your attitude needs a little bit of work," she says, smiling.

"Sweetheart, really, I promise you, you are going to make friends today, I just know it, abd everything is going to turn out much better than you think."

"Sure, whatever," I answer.

I cannot possibly begin to explain how much I am dreading going back to school today. At the door, before I leave, my mom tucks the bagel into my backpack and gives me a hug. "Honey really try not to take everything so seriously." She closes her eyes and takes this huge deep breath. When she opens her eyes she exhales cups my cheeks and kisses my forehead.

"Ellie I wish you'd realize even a teensy bit how amazing you are." She looks at me like she's so positive. "You can do anything you set yout mind to."

I'm standing half inside the door and half outside the door. My mom reaches out and moves the hair out of my eyes like she always does. "Don't forget soccer okay? I'll pick you up right after school."

" I'm not playing soccer," I announce. I decided this right that second. I already have to see Sassy and Aspen at school..... I cannot possibly face having to deal with them at soccer too.

"Nonsense," says my mom. "Ellie, you can't just quit things when the going gets tough. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can't give up. You've always had so much fun at soccer."

"Yeah, well, its not fun right now," I say. "And I'm not playing. I'm just not!" I turn and start marching down the driveway toward the bus stop.

This does not discourage my mom. She follows me. She follows right down the driveway in her lavender kimono bathrobe and fluffy bunny slippers.

"Ellie," she calls after me, "I'll pick you up at three by the back near the gym. And I expect you to clean your room this weekend. Seriously, Ellie, I can't even step foot in there....

"And, Ellie!"

I stop and turn back. My mom is holding her cup of coffee in the air as if she's toasting me. I'm pretty sure she's smiling as she hollers out, "You can do it, honey! You so got this!"