Hope for the Hopeless

Chapter 4

Humphrey was just sitting on the couch minding his own business when he felt somebody's butt land on his thigh. He was about to yell at whoever was intruding upon his personal space, but then he saw who it was.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" She placed her hand on his thigh. He looked down at it. Did she just say "Oh my gosh"? He looked back up at her. She looked familiar. And cute. Would it be out of line for him to invite her to rub his thigh better? Humphrey felt bold enough to say it, he had just downed three shots of tequila mere minutes before. But then he noticed that Hale was cozied up beside her.

Hale was whispering in her ear and she was chewing on the rim of her red Solo cup. She had tiny hands that made that cup look huge. Just as he started thinking about the other things her tiny hands would make look huge, Hale's dumb voice cut through.

"Humphrey! Dude! Where'd you go?" Hale had reached around Hope's shoulders and was tugging on Humphrey's collar, trying to snap him back to reality. Humphrey noticed that Hale allowed his arm to casually drape around her after he had gotten his roommate's attention.

"Nowhere, mate. I'm here, just enjoying this rare moment with you." He smiled at Hale and started to stroke the back of his hand.

"Cut that shit out, Humphrey! You're not going to weird Hope out." Hale knew what he was up to.

"Yeah, totally not weirded out by this showcase of affection. It's very adorable." Hope locked eyes with Humphrey and then tilted her head to the side a little bit like she was observing some strange zoo creature that she had just stumbled upon. Did he not realise what was happening here?

"Hope," Hale gave her shoulder a squeeze. "This is my roommate, Humphrey."

"Pleasure." Hope held out her hand. Humphrey kissed it. He watched Hale seethe.

"That's how we greet a lady in England," Humphrey said, putting his other hand on top of Hope's.

"So that's where the accent is from?" she asked, knowing full well that's where he was from.

"Yes, Humphrey is English, and he's handsome, and he's a doctor, and we all love him. I'm starting to think we should have stayed in the kitchen." Hale removed his arm from around Hope and pouted.

"Aw, thanks, Hale." Humphrey directed his attention to Hope. "Usually I have to sell myself to women, but luckily I have Hale around now to do it for me." He bumped her shoulder.

Hope was confused. She looked between the two of them. "Um, what exactly are you two to each other?"

"Roommates," they said in unison.

Hale scoffed. "Great, maybe now our periods will also be in sync. If you'll excuse me, I need a refill. Hope, would you like anything?" She handed him her cup as he eased himself off the couch. "Be good," he shouted at Humphrey as he sauntered into the kitchen.

Humphrey and Hope sat beside each other in silence. He noticed that she stayed squished beside him even though Hale had moved. She noticed that she smelled spicy and expensive, like how she imagined a vintage Porsche to smell. Or, in Humphrey's case, maybe an old Jag.

Hope could only look at her hands for so long before she felt her usual pull to fill the empty air up with sound. "So, Humphrey is it?" If he didn't remember, then she was going to roll with it.

"Hmmm?" He looked back over at her. He had long eyelashes that perfectly framed his freakishly green eyes. They looked like sea glass, Hope thought. You don't see that kind of green very often. But then Humphrey didn't really look like a creature that regularly occurred in nature.

She persisted even though he seemed incredibly disinterested. "Humphrey, your name is Humphrey?"

"Yes, that is my name."

"As in Bogart?" She could play this game.

"No, it's a family name."

"That's cool..." She was hoping he'd elaborate. He didn't. "So, are you named after your Dad? Great Uncle?"

"No, I was named after my Grandfather's prized English Bulldog. He won at Westminster."

Hope had no words. He smelled like spicy leather and was named after an English Bulldog - a championship winning English Bulldog. She could feel herself gawking at him. Hope forced her gaze away from Humphrey's face just as he turned to look at her. She was staring at something off to his right. He took the opportunity to take a good look at her face. She had freckles. Just a small smattering across her nose. He bet they perfectly outlined where the bridge of her glasses sat. She didn't blink rapidly like normal girls do; she took her time like she was taking mini-naps. He wanted to chalk it up to the alcohol, but he also felt like this was something specific to Hope. He felt like Hope was the kind of girl who took her time with everything. Absolutely everything. Humphrey could feel heat rising up in his cheeks and knew that it was time to detour his brain from the gutter. "Where does the name 'Hope' come from?"

Her attention snapped back towards him, he quickly looked away so she wouldn't think he had been staring at her even though he had. "My last name is Chance. My mom thought it was funny. You know, 'Hope Chance'..."

He laughed. "Sounds like we both have assholes for parents."

Hope's mouth fell open. She was about to tell him off when a crash came from the bathroom. The door flung open and a girl staggered out, lipstick smeared. A young man followed after, clumsily doing up his pants. Humphrey laughed again. "I bet I know where the rest of her lipstick went." Hope didn't know how to respond. She knew she should probably be offended and would typically defend the random girl's honour, but she couldn't find the words. What was it about accents? Why were they so hot and disarming? She remembered that Hale said something about Humphrey being a doctor? Did he wear scrubs to work? The kind with those drawstrings...

Humphrey turned back to her, "Hale's last name is Dale, you know."

Hope shook her head, clearing away the image of Humphrey in scrubs like her brain was an Etch-A-Sketch. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Hale's last name? It's Dale." Humphrey said it this time like Hope was daft.

"His name is Hale Dale? Are you serious?"

"Love, I am very clever but not even I am clever enough to make that up." He took a long sip from his cup. "His parents are assholes too in case you were wondering."

Humphrey looked back to the crowd of people as Hope scanned the kitchen, hoping that Hale would come back soon with her drink when Jake suddenly appeared beside her on the couch with a loud thump.

"OH GOOD!" he yelled. "I'm so glad that you two finally found each other, I mean -"

Hale appeared out of nowhere, cutting him off. "You're in my seat, friend."

Jake looked at Hope, Hope looked at Humphrey and Humphrey looked up at Hale. "Hale, have you met my friend, Jake?"

Hale did a complete one-eighty. "This is Jake? The Jake?!" He reached out his hand for Jake to shake and pulled him up into a hug. "You brought this beautiful girl here? You're the man of the hour then!" He slapped Jake on the back.

Jake sat back down, giving Hale a weird look. He cleared his throat. "That's me, wrangler of beautiful women. Hope, do you have a moment?" He smiled at her.

"I'm busy right now, Jake, in case you haven't noticed. You're in Hale's seat." She glared at him. Why was he acting so weird? He brought her here for this very reason.

"Ugh, fine." He got up with a groan. "But, we will talk later."

Hale took his seat back beside Hope, casually wrapping his arm around her shoulders again and tipped his beer to Jake. "Good man, Jake. You're a solid guy."

Jake looked to Humphrey who just shook his head as if to say "Don't bother, it isn't worth it." He turned around to leave when Elise appeared, yelling "CHEESE!" Elise was a college friend of Humphrey and Jake's that they couldn't seem to shake. She just showed up to everything, but no one knew how she got there. He took a seat on the arm of the couch beside Humphrey, leaned into him and whispered, "your roommate is a fucking asshole." Humphrey let out a low chuckle. "Yeah, I'm starting to realise that."