Pain

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    After we ate dinner I went up to my room and shut the door and turned the lights off. Even thought I had a good time, happiness always seems to leave as I start to feel empty inside. I sat there alone on my bed thinking to myself about what I could do, I don't feel tired, maybe I could stay up tonight.

     "I'm still worried about Asher." I said to my best friend Elaine, me and her are really close. "I know what you mean, hes always has been really distant with people and hasn't accepted that we care for him!" she said sadly to me, and believe me it hurts to see him this way but, I really don't know what I should do to help him out. "well thanks for talking, maybe next week i'll invite you to come over!" I tell her as I hang up. I walk out of my room and go down stairs to watch The Flash on Netflix and  eat some popcorn and i'm not going to lie but, I have some characters I ship and he doesn't agree whit me but whatever and  I honestly think that Oliver and Barry are cute, same with Barry and Leonard!

     After binge watching 3 seasons i cleaned up and went to check on Ashy, to kiss him goodnight and yeah I know that's weird but, like fuck off! I go into his room and see he is fast asleep and kiss him on the head only to see him move and make an adorable noise. " I have the cutest little brother ever!" I mumble to myself as I leave and shut the door on my way out and walk to my room to sleep.

     I wake up at 4 in the morning with tears rushing down my face as I try to stop myself from crying. I thought everyone I ever knew left me and said things that they knew hurt me and made me cry even my brother Nathan! I sat there on my bed curled up in a ball trying to calm myself down and started listening to music to help out and it worked for a bit but, my mind got to me and made it worse. Saying I'm worthless, stupid, annoying, idiotic, a waste of space, a burden, and my "friends" only use me for what they want. The worst part is I let it soak in and believe it. I start crying even more and start wishing my sister was here because shes the only mother-like figure Nathan and I have ever had. Her and Nathan are the only ones that actually remember mom and dad too, I have nothing though...





453 words yay :3 this probs shit tho     

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⏰ Last updated: May 03, 2020 ⏰

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