Experiencing Love

Experiences.

I bet everyone experienced to be inlove, to expect, to believe, to be stupid, to be stressed, to be bitter, to try, to be rejected, to be hurt, to be alone, to be broken, to cry, and of course, to stand up again.

This is a story of a girl, who experienced those all at a young age.

There's this girl, who has a crush on a varsity player. Well, there so close, through text messages. They never had a chance to talk because of the awkwardness surrounding the place. Everytime, they bump to each other, they're in their poker face, no smiles, no hi's, but there are eye contacts.

She was damn inlove. Really inlove, that she would go out, just to walk to the corridor, infront of their classroom, that she would ask a friend to be with her, that she stares at him secretly, that she would follow him, thatshe would look at his picture for almost an hour, that whenever some of her classmate would go to the guy's classroom she would go with them, that she would do everything just for them to talk, in personal.

One day, The guy texted, the conversation was so damn boring, and then he suddenly ask, who's her crush. For asking who's her crush, the girl, unexpectedly expecting. Of course, She didn't said it was him instead she said it's a secret, she asked him, who's his crush, he said it is her. It seems so unbelievable but she wholeheartedly believed in it.

After that conversation, the guy never texted again, she feel used, she feel stupid for believing it was true, the one he said. She feel played. Those days that the guy was not texting, she often overthink. She thought if the guy was only joking, she thought if the guy was only playing with her, she thought if those are just white lies. She always overthink but it always end up, her, being stressed.

One day, it all came, hitting the truth to her face, the truth the he has a crush on another girl, of course, she's pretty, she's smart, she's the one he loves. But bitterness filled her heart, she thought, I'm pretty too, I'm smarter than her! But I'm not the one he loves. But though, those insecurities, she still believed on what the guy said, she still believed that the guy has a crush on her.

The day, where their school, will have their second game on basketball, of course, she watched, she would damn support her imaginary boyfriend. After the game, they planned to take pictures with him. Her friends was shouting to take pictures, but he seems like not hearing anything. Then his mom answered, she said, "Suplado." She just feel rejected, he said he has a crush on her, he was damn sweet when he's talking with her, but now, a simple picture, he couldn't give. The girl just damn hurt.

After that, she swore to herself she would be alone, she would not be happy as she used to before, she would be serious. She was damn broken that she changed.

Sometimes, she would just absentmindedly cry, when she remember the times that they had, those were great times, that will remain in the past, great times that will stay just memories.

Now, she haven't stood up yet, but soon she will, she will survive the pain, she will find her true happiness, it could be the guy now, or another guy from the future, but for now, we should let God hold our future.

You wanna know who's the girl? It is me. It is me who fell, who expected, who believed, who have been stupid, who have been stressed, who have been bitter, who try, who have been rejected, who have been hurt, who decided to be alone, who's broken, who cried, and soon I'll recover to these pain you caused me, soon I'll have my true happiness, I may share it with you, or I may share it with another.

Just for now, I just keep going forward, trust God's plan, and never let someone let me down. I'll just go with the flow. Never stop going forward.