For The Abused

That Numbness

You can never keep your happiness when someone brings you to your worst everyday.
You can't hide your friendships when theyre always there.
You leave behind people, you leave behind events, you quit everything just please them.
No amount of arguing no amount of satisfying them will ever give you those basic things back that now seem like impossible privileges that you don't deserve.
They can only hold you by the nape of your neck and only drag you in the dirt, but to the people in the halls you are walking side by side.
That lonliness can feel like a punch in the face and the unbearable need to tell someone,what's wrong, can be like a drowning man just inches from a surface.
You can only cry yourself to sleep at night so many times, or just do what he wants one more time.. till it stops.
A eery calm soaks in.
It feels like your watching life from above yourself and your not really there. It's almost being lightheaded yet so heavy on the ground as you start to except your fate. You said yes so many months ago to this, this is surly what you wanted.
The world blends together and everything is desaturated and this life just doesn't matter. Your backed so far in a corner.. that realization sets in.
There's no exit, there's no will.
You bring yourself to the idea of closing your eyes and never awakening might be the last possible thing. All because the overload of hatred and pain from a person you never thought could do such a thing drove you to an edge with one way out.
You don't feel scared about that idea the more it sits on your desk and hangs by your side. The emotional and mental feeling of just being alive is so blocked and disrupted that physical inflicted pain on your own self doesn't feel like anything.
Where do you go?
Do you step forward off the edge, or stay with a nightmare?

*Sorry I've been gone! I'm glad to see 11 views on this¡!¡ <3