Hold To Find (On-going)

Prologue

Trying

I'm sitting on a bench in front of the beach. Its been years and I'm still finding myself in this island. My mother told me I used to be a jolly person but I lose myself after an accident. I can't afford to be in a place where I used to be because the last time that happened it made me faint. Basically I'm stuck in this island with people I'm not really close to. Hindi kami gaanong close ng mga kasambahay dito dahil hindi naman nila trabaho ang daldalin ako. Bilang lang din ang mga tao sa loob ng bahay. Nakikipag communicate naman ako sa mga nagbabakasyon pero we don't have an attachment dahil saglit lang naman sila dito. I badly want to get out of this place but I can't for my own safety. I usually think about this out of the blue when boredom strikes me hard.

'Dulce!' Lumingon-lingon ako para hanapin kung sino ang tumawag ng pangalan ko. A smile formed in my lips as I saw Achiena waving her hands. Kumaway ako pabalik sakanya na naglalakad papunta sa akin. Nilahad niya ang kamay niya sa akin para yumakap at agad ko iyong tinanggap.

'I missed you.' sabi ko sa pagitan ng yakap. 'Bat ngayon ka lang bumisita Chin?' tanong ko na may halong tampo.

'I missed you to Se. Sorry I wasn't able to visit you I was busy this past few months cause my mom wanted to leave the company to me.' bumitaw na sa yakap.

'I badly wanted to get out of this place. It felt so lonely. Paano ko makakaalala kung mananatili ako dito?' ilang beses ko na itong sinasabi at hindi ako magsasawang sabihin yon hangga't nandito ako sa lugar na ito.

'Se I know you understand tita Dianna naman diba? She doesn't want to risk your life. If you badly wanted to do it, you have to consult your doctor and your mother first.' she said.

'Ok I'll talk to mom about it. Swimming muna tayo.' aya ko. Nagpasya kami na sa swimming pool nalang sa loob ng mansion na binili ni mommy dito sa La Union for me to stay.

'I think you should try to make friends with the vacationers here in Elyu para naman di ka feeling lonely.' she suggested.

'Chin I tried it already pero they won't stay here for too long cause they are only here for vacation obviously.'

Gusto kong makaalala pero mom won't let me. I think it's time to try myself after years staying in this island like prisoner. I wanted to be free like no chains are pulling me. Achiena stayed that night then leave early in the morning. I decided to talk to mom so I called her early in the morning.

'Yes Dulce?' my mom as she answered the phone.

'Mommy I have something to talk to you.'

'What is it anak?'

'I want to try it again.'

'What do you want to try? Feel free to do it diyan.'

'No mommy I can't do it here.'

'Ano ba kasi ang gusto mong gawin?'

'I want to go back mommy.' tumahimik si mommy sa kabilang linya nang sabihin ko iyon. Tanging buntong hininga lang ang narinig ko. 'I want to remember.' dagdag ko pa. 

'Dulce, you don't know what you're talking about. Kung sa tingin mo kaya mo... Ako natatakot ako sa mangyayari sa'yo.' naririnig ko ang hikbi ni mommy

'Mommy stop crying please... Hindi natin malalaman kung hindi ko susubukan ulit.' Buntong hininga lang ang narinig ko. 'Please mommy one more time.' pagmamakaawa ko pa.

'Okay sweetie but not right now. Not immediately. I will go there then we will consult your doctor first.' napipilitang pag payag niya.

'Thank you mom I love you.'