The Red Notebook; Jung Hobi's Diary

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JUNG HOBI'S DIARY

The notebook shouted Hoseok's name.

Yoongi smiled, closing his eyes to repel the tears threatening to fall. This was the book that Hoseok had left him. This was the book that would tell him all of the words that Hoseok couldn't bear to escape his lips. This was his closure.

He ran his fingers through the scarlet spine, and he could see Hoseok. His smile, his eyes, just..him. He could see Hoseok in the red, battered leather, and he could see it vividly.

He and the book were alike. First glance, and the book would look normal from the outside, with Hoseok's initials on the top corner and the money tag that Hoseok had never removed. But he knew that inside these pages, there was something far more sinister. The words had an undertone laced with pain, but Yoongi knew that the pain would give a distinct memory of Hoseok back.

And so he opened the book, smiling at the beautiful cursive writing.

JUNG HOBI'S DIARY
FROM: DAWON NOONA

February 18, 2003 (1st Entry)
I may or may not have eaten too much cake today.

Yes, everybody, I am officially nine years old now! Eomma even gave me a pet bunny, and Noona gave me this pretty leather book. She told me to write down all my feelings or stuff here. (But I just think she's just guilty because she ate the ice cream that Eomma said was mine).

Noona says she is leaving soon. I don't really know where to, but I think someone named "College" is taking her! Who would even name someone College? Like, I would be forever angry at Eomma if she named me that.

Appa is drinking again. He always makes me buy those weird green bottles from the store, and I don't like the smell. He almost locked me up in the cabinet when I told him, but luckily Noona came home.

It's actually four in the morning right now, and I'm really sleepy. Good night.

He tried to fight the tears from falling as he read the first entry. Hoseok was a nice kid, even from the start. He was innocent, and it scared Yoongi to think about what had caused him to be like this.

He flipped to another page.


December 7, 2004 (54th Entry)
I never thought getting whacked over the head would hurt this much. In the movies, people would just wipe the blood from their head, then stand up again, then ultimately win the battle even if the statistics are literally shouting impossible.

I stayed late at school, and now Appa threw one of his old bottles at my head cause I forgot to buy beer.

I forgot to buy bandages again, I actually used the money Eomma gave to me for emergency for lunch today, and it sucked ultimately because they served fillet or something like that, and it was a nightmare. Eomma's still not coming back, and it's already 1 in the morning. Hallelujah, insomnia.

Yoongi frowned. At the age of ten, Hoseok had an abusive, alcoholic father, a mother that was never there but slightly cared, and a sister that only focused on her dreams.

He flipped the page to another random page, which was quite different. Flecks of red were smudged  onto the pages, and Hoseok's writing was scrambled onto different directions. 

April 12, 2007
Sorry if you can't understand my writing, diary. Dad locked me in the cabinet again, and that's where I'm writing from. Also, apologies if you got quite dirty, the red stuff is my blood, he threw a bottle to my head again.

My eyes are hazy, and I have a massive headache. It really hurts.
Also, I found out what Eomma does for a living.

Ever since Noona was born, she was actually a prostitute. That's why Appa must hate me so much, because I'm not his real son. Only Noona is a full Jung, and I don't even know my real father.

Goodbye.

He flipped to another page, which was even more distanced and scrambled.

July 30, 2010
Eomma and Appa will never forgive me for what I've done.

I've killed my bunny. I've killed Eomma. I've killed Appa. But I know that it wasn't me.

He calls himself Dark Sun. He says that he is a part of me, that he is me.

I'm scared. I am a coward, I ran away from home, and the only thing I brought was this book and a broken pencil.

Mrs Han from the orphanage found me outside a convenience store. I don't know why I ended up there.

All I remember was this gang chasing me. They were angry, I don't know why, and Mrs Han told them to go away.

She said I would have to stay with her in the orphanage until I'm old enough.

Goodnight.

It was simple, really. To a passerby, It was just fictional words written on a red tattered notebook, but to him, it was Hoseok.

It meant so much, and even in the short time he had known the other, he fell in love. He didn't care if he was a murderer on the inside, because there was another part of him in the inside that assured Yoongi that he was still fighting.

Maybe his death was for the best. It had resulted in justice. In understanding. In peace for Hoseok. Sure, it would be a long way to forgiveness, but he had something to say to them.

It wasn't Hoseok.





















IT WASN'T HOSEOK.

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