Happily Ever After- 2

-Why Me?-

"Ishaan was great guy. We were amazing together. He handled my mood swings, always gave me the right advice, cared for me and loved me. What else could someone want?

There was this one time when I fell seriously ill. Viv was out of town, Z and Abeer had gone to Chandigarh and so, I was alone. Ishaan took care of me then. He cooked for me, fed me and cuddled with me. I felt blessed to have him.

He did such cute antics which made me blush until my cheeks burned. He would randomly pull my cheeks, send me ice-cream and write me little notes. He called me 'gol mol' which was obviously irritating but it was too adorable to be mad at.

But life is never easy. It goes wrong at all the right times. One fine day, it was all over. Technically, none of us had ever officially broke up but I knew it was over. One day, Ishaan vanished somewhere. He wouldn't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. I tried reaching out to him but he never respond to me.

I was broken. I got attached to him. And not just attached, I became fucking habitual of him. I missed his touch, his antics, his cuteness. I missed him.

I tried to console myself but I couldn't. Z warned me to not talk to him ever again. She kept reminding me that I had a self-respect but maybe I was too blind to acknowledge that. I am sorry Zoya. I wrote him a letter. One last try to communicate with him. It went like this.

"Hey Ish,

Not sure if I can still call you that. Hi, how are you? I miss you. Those 42 days, they were the best. I felt so comfortable with you. I didn't feel alone, Ishaan. I was happy. I was finally happy! It felt like a dream, obviously. I have never had a guy who liked me for who I am and not my body. I had nobody who was so compatible to me. You do debates, you're a chatterbox just like me. You made me happy from the inside. They say, 'you glow when you are treated right' and to be honest, I was glowing. My cheeks never hurted this bad while thinking about someone but when I thought about you, it was a different scenario altogether. I kept smiling and smiling and smiling, all the time.

The love, the motivation, the warmth, I felt blessed that maybe finally there was someone who was going to be mine. Someone whom I could hold onto. And trust me, I wanted to. But I don't know what happened. You suddenly just went away. You vanished all of a sudden. You started ignoring me, avoiding me and you even declined my calls. I don't know what happened. I don't have any idea of what made you go. If there was something, you could have told me. I thought we were comfortable with each other. Although it wasn't a long time that we knew each other but when I talked to you, you gave me a whole new different feeling.

I am writing this letter not because I want you back. I mean yes, I do want you back. But not at the cost of my self-respect. If you were not interested to continue, you could have just told me. Why me, Ishaan? Why me? Why did you have to break my heart? Why did you have to mess up my already disturbed life? I have never been good at relationships and people but I wanted to work it out with you. I wanted to know you more, to understand you. I frickin' planned a future with you, but damn, it was all in my mind, right? I don't know if I'll ever send this to you. Maybe I would, but for what? I know you are not coming back. You never would. I know you are gone. But just please tell me one thing, this one simple thing. Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you leave all of a sudden? Why? I feel like crying each day but then, how do you cry for someone who was never yours? How do I? I miss you and I would do that forever. But you're gone and you'll never be back.

Thank you for breaking me once again. Thank you for messing me up more. Thank you for coming and then leaving in a jiffy. Thank you for fucking me up so bad. I hate you and I love you, probably. And I miss you.

-Arjun."

I was shattered into bits and pieces. Why can't things be just cool? Why does there have to be an earthquake each time everything is alright? Why can't I stay happy for once?

Everything just brought me back to point zero. Ravenwood and my friends helped me a lot after my parents died but I had to spend a lot more years in Delhi. How would I live happily?

The break-up affected me a lot. I stopped hanging out much, I started keeping myself busy with studies. I uninstalled dating apps from my phone.

All throughout that time, my friends were my biggest strength. Especially Vivaan. He started spending more time at my home than his. Truly, Vivaan filled the absence of family in my life. The emptiness which once lingered, started to fade away again. Although I gave up dates and dating, but at least I didn't go into my old self-isolatory mode. With time, I started having fun again. I started being normal again.

There is this one dialogue from the 2019 movie, Five Feet Apart. "It's just life. It will be over before you know it." I couldn't agree more. It started to make sense in that very moment. That was when I started enjoying my life more. I was finally myself again."

"Sir, is that why you're still single?" Sarah asked?

"Partially, yes. But it is also because I haven't found anyone yet."

"You can only find someone only when you are looking for them, Arjun." Mr Lobo stood on the door.

"Hello, Mr Lobo. How was your trip?"

"It was great, Arjun. Also, Mr Scott wants to meet you."

"Oh, sure. Class, I'll see you later. I would upload the assignment on the group by the evening. It's due by 8th of November. Bye."

"See you later, Arjun. Have a safe trip."

"Thankyou Mr Lobo."

_________________________________________

Where is Arjun going? Is it a visit to the past or the future? Find out on May 20!
.
Drop in your reviews in the comments section. Thank you. :)
.
© Anshul Maheshwari
.

#HEAbyAnshul
#HappilyEverAfter #HappilyEverAfter2
#writerscommunity #writing #writer #writersofig #writersofinstagram #writers #tales #stories #poetry #instawrite #writersonig #like #poetsofig #poetsofinstagram #prose #poetrycommunity #wordgasm #creativewriting #mywords #creative #spilledink #artistssupportingartists