Him | a Joshua Basset fanfic

1.

"So what are you thinking darling? Roses or tulips?" my mother asked, flipping through her planner. "I'd rather not talk about my funeral at the breakfast table" I mumbled poking at my toast.

It was 6 weeks before I was going to die and my mother had been planning my funeral for the past few weeks now. I was going to die on my 18th birthday which most people would find upsetting, I however do not. "Its such a waste" "Her life hasn't even started yet!" "Such a shame, its such a scary world"

The quicker that this is over with, the better. I have nothing to live for anymore anyways. A few years ago my best friend, Alice had died. Everyone knew it was coming, it was just hard to come to terms with. Ever since that day I have wanted to die too. She was the only one who understood me in this world and now she was gone and I was all alone in the big bad world.

"We just have to plan ahead" she sighed. My mum tries to keep herself busy so she doesn't think about the day that's quickly approaching. The twenty-third of March. My death day. "Why do I have to help you plan it? it's not like I'm going to be able to see the flowers anyways" I pick up my school bag and head out the door. "I'll be home late, I'm going to the graveyard after school" I say as I close the front door softly behind me.

As soon as my last class of the day finishes, I pack my books away in my bag and quickly walk out of the class. This doesn't go as smoothly as I hoped it would. "Grace" my English teacher calls from behind his desk. I turn around and he signals for me to come over to his desk. I sigh and make my way over to him as the class empties.

"Hi Grace, how are you feeling?" He smiles sympathetically. "Fine" I state avoiding all eye contact. "I've noticed the doodles in your workbook and I'm concerned" He sets my jotter on his desk and starts to flick through the pages. Sketches of gravestones, coffins and funeral cars with my name on them fills the pages. "They're just drawings" I mumble. "When's your day?" He asks and I show him the number printed on my wrist. "So soon? Christ" He rubs his temples and looks up at me. "I'm always here if you want to talk, I know it's hard but it will be okay. You just have to live life to the fullest okay pet?" I nod and quickly walk out of the classroom before he can say anything else.