The Raven - Born Out The Earth

Raven's Confession

"But I didn't get to meet her. Or see her." I couldn't bear to hear anymore but he didn't stop. "The night that I came back here... the night that rained." No. "I felt her presence. I smelt her scent." Please.

"She smelled like the wildflower amongst the woods. Even though the rain washed it away, it-it still smelled like heaven." Stop. "I ran after her, but she was not there. She was gone. She-she disappeared in the woods on my own land and I couldn't see her." He let out a low growl.

I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes. Trying to calm my aching heart. "D-did you happen to see anyone in the woods that night? I saw you go in roughly around the same time that I smelt her." I don't want to answer. "No. I did not see anyone." I whisper, not letting my emotions flow through the words I spoke. He let out another deep growl.

Silence. That's how the rest of the ride was. Filled with silence. I refused to turn around or open my eyes even. When he stopped the car, I knew we were home. My legs felt so weak. I didn't want to get up or get out. I wanted to disappear. Again.

"Are you okay?" His voice laced with concern and worry, questions me.

No, I'm not. I'm not okay. My heart hurts. I'm in so much pain. Please help me. Save me.

"I think I'm just tired. I feel sleepy." I mumble as I shuffled to unbuckle my seatbelt and held my bag on my lap. My head still resting on seat, eyes closed. I heard the car door open and close on the other side and after a while my own side opens.

I felt his arms underneath my knees and around my arms and I felt myself being lifted up. All these sparks now dancing on my body. Having no energy to fight back, I leaned on his strong hard chest and listen to the beating of his heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Is she okay?" I heard voices around, but I just focused on the sound of his heartbeat. It was healing me. At the same time, it was like a lullaby. Why does he affect me so much? Why?

The unwelcoming cold sheets of my bed burned my body as he laid me down on top of it. I didn't protest though. His arm was still around my shoulder for a while until when he finally decided to let go. I didn't hear any footsteps for some time. I felt him. His eyes watching me. But I didn't dare open my eyes.

Then I heard his footsteps fade as the door to my room shut close. Tears rolled down my temples as my glassy eyes opened up to meet the haunting white ceiling. I turned to my side and curled my body like a baby in its mother's womb.

I didn't dare make a sound in a house filled with Lycans, as silent tears fell freely and formed a pool of my grief on the soft white mattress. Raven oh, Raven. What are you doing to yourself?

Stop this. These unwanted emotions.

It's only hurting you.

Be a true Raven. Be vigorous like one. Be free of these emotions. Let go, Raven. Let go and fly free. The sky is vast, and the land is wide. There will come a day when you'll be happy again.

More tears stream through my eyes as I moved my head to face the pillow. Just this once. Let me take it all out. Just this once. I'll let go. I will.

I promised myself as I welcomed the familiar darkness in my eyes and dreamt of him yet again.

"Lucas."

I have been smiling since I woke up. I'm back to myself before I met him. I talk and talk a lot. I rode with Eliana on her car. I had class the whole day and no work. I was either with Emily or Oliver in some of my classes. I had lunch with Michael again.

I have been avoiding him. The most I say to him is greet him, nothing more. I need to be away from him. For now. Until I get used to this. His presence. His absence. In my life. From my life.