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- Lilly-Mae's point of view -
With my eyes focused on the clock that hung in front of my bed, I saw the time tick over to midnight, it was now officially the eighth of August. Exactly three weeks ago the boys had found me on the concrete floor of a warehouse, a hole through my skull after being shot in the head by Thomas. I was alone in my room at the moment. A room I was gifted by the brothers in their home. Their home, they called the bunker. It was cozy here, although I only saw parts of it for a short period of time. My room was located next to Deans, right over Sam's, at least that's what the boys told me.
I was still trapped inside of my own body, still unable to speak or move, however, there was some good news. My head injury was healing well, thanks to Cas's angel powers. Who I found out was actually called Castiel, and not Cas. It took him more than two weeks to build up the courage and tell me what his actual name was. I had made a complete fool of myself calling him Cas for weeks, even though I didn't know him well enough yet to be addressing him by his nickname.
I assumed the boys were asleep by now, considering it was past midnight already, but then again they were never up to any good. I had gotten to know them better with time, and I'd like to think they kind of liked me by now? Castiel usually talked for me, so we were able to have somewhat of a conversation. Cas, however, left my cursing out for the most part, which I didn't blame him. I tend to curse quite often but told him he didn't have to make me sound nicer than I really was. He never gave a reply to that. Making me honestly think that he didn't have the guts to curse himself. Which I assumed was normal, him being an angel and all.
"I just don't think it's appropriate for me to curse, Lilly-Mae," His voice filled the room, startling me. I was never going to get used to him just, popping in like that. As per usual, he apologized for scaring me, and I told him it was fine. That was our ritual by now.
He decided to take a seat next to me on the bed, his blue eyes focused on me, he made sure I was able to see him.
"My apologies for leaving you alone with the brothers today." When I was alone with Sam and Dean was communicating literally impossible, but I understood that Castiel had Heaven business to attend to.
"How was your day?"
'Well, watching the clock was very interesting,' I replied sarcastically, which the angel didn't appreciate.
"Is sarcasm something contagious?" I laughed at his question, understanding that he mentioned the Winchesters. They were also masters in the practice of sarcasm, but I was a goddess.
'It's something you're born with,' I replied, and if I was able I would've smiled at the butt-hurt angel.
"And with honestly," he said, and I cursed him for being able to read me like a book.
"Cursing people isn't nice,"
'Well, you're not human, now are you?'
"Right—but Lilly-Mae, we've spoken about this before. Humans need to talk with people about things. It's important for your mental health."
'I can't believe how much that sounds like a Dean sentence. Did Dean tell you that?'
The angel was concerned about me, for all the right reasons. I was trapped in my own head. Left alone with my thoughts for weeks now. In the time I had built a private movie theater for myself up in my mind, and the movie that had been playing for weeks; Being Mauled by Werewolves, featuring Thomas Reed.
"Do you want to talk about Thomas?"
'What else do you want me to say about him, Castiel? We talk about him daily, it doesn't help. He's dead, but that's the thing about life, isn't it? No one makes it out alive.' He took a deep breath as his eyes left me behind.
"I suppose you're right about that. And like I've said before, it's okay for you to call me Cas."
'When you start calling me Lilly,' I thought in defense. His eyes met mine again; an annoyed look on his face and a long silence followed. He forced me to start thinking again, he forced me to go back to that damn seat in my theater.
Flashes of Thom were all I saw. I could hear his voice again, screaming. I could almost feel his presence again, panicked. I once again started drowning in sorrow and heartache. No one ever tells you how much grief can feel like fear, but I had somewhat made my peace with it at that point. Two tears rolled down the sides of my face when I couldn't hold them back any longer.
'It's been three weeks Cas, three weeks ago he stopped breathing and I continued. I'm not over him,' I cried out mentally. The angel's expression softened at my pain.
"I'm not asking off you to get over him. I don't expect you to ever do so, I know what he meant to you, Lilly." He regretted pressuring me into confessing how I felt, but as he told me before, it had to happen. I had to talk, I needed a bit of help to process what had happened precisely.
"You're strong and smart, but instead of letting your mind break yourself down, you need to start defending yourself," he spoke words of wisdom and I agreed, but applying that theory wasn't all that easy. He gave me a moment to recollect my emotions and get them back under control before speaking.
"I have something for you," he said while revealing a phone with a headset attached. "I don't know if you enjoy music, but I visited Dean's room before visiting you and took these with me. I thought it could keep you entertained."
'You want Dean to get mad at me for stealing his music?' I asked playfully but was thankful.
"I doubt Dean will suspect you for stealing it, considering you are unable to move."
'Touché,' I said laughing. 'Thanks, Castiel.'
"What music do you like?" he asked while placing the headset over my ears.
'Honestly, right now I could listen to anything. Except for Justin Bieber. I don't do JB.'
I saw him scrolling through Spotify while looking for a playlist he thought I'd enjoy. Eventually, he clicked on a playlist called 'A Brutal Rip in Reality' and alternative music started playing. It was literal music to my ears.
"I'll quickly heal you, and then I'll leave you to enjoy your music," the angel said, but I barely heard him due to the music.
'Is good, thanks Cas.' He pressed two times on the volume button to turn the music louder, completely blocking out all the sound around me before standing up ready to start healing. 'Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars' was playing as the room lit up, that warm feeling flowing through me of Cas's grace healing the cells within my body. The music was the best thing that had happened to me in weeks, and when I was completely lost in it; I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to enjoy it even more.
