Normal Looks Better Naked (MxB)

Chapter 8 - Bloody Do-Over

Chapter 8 - Bloody Do-Over

Noel's POV:

I hadn't imagined being back home, let alone tasked with such a scary assignment to do. I knew I couldn't continue to sleep in my brother's bedroom forever. Even if it was only to allow the toddler to grow and be independent, I needed a bedroom of my own. At the far end of the hall, left of the stairs was a door that lead to my parent's Master suite. What was their bedroom...

I had open the door at least ten minutes ago and just stood at the doorway, stuck, frozen, staring into their personal space. Forcing my body forward, I stepped into the room hesitantly. All the time I could practically feel them here with me, I could smell them, almost hear them. When I was younger my Dad was my hero, he would pick me up and let me fly, then give me hugs and kisses when I got scared. His pocketknife laid on their dresser, its weathered look beautiful in a nostalgic way.

Mom. She was the best, she could always make me laugh... her grilled cheese and milk chocolate on snowy days...

I didn't want the tears to run down my face as I sat on the foot of their bed. It was always made perfectly, the comforter pulled up to the top and several pillows stacked there. Laying flat on the bed, I spread my arms out and was suddenly reminiscent of the times I had done this. So many times I had spent in their bed, watching them get ready for date night.

For the first time in a long time, I missed them... the people I had known until I was 15. They were warm, they loved me, or so I had thought they did. I think it was a date night night... almost 10 years ago...

- FLASHBACK -

Mom and Dad had finally left for their date, after making sure I knew all the rules about staying home alone. I kissed them both on the cheek, while taking a $20 from Mom, for pizza. They were headed to an Italian restaurant 35 minutes away from home, like they did every week.

I was happy to finally be home alone without their hovering and constant nagging. I loved the two genuinely, but jeez, I'm almost 18... 3 more years and I'll be able to go to college, and live on my own. Maybe I'll get a car, and come home to do laundry, and al the shit college kids do.

Flipping through TV, I wasn't bored, but I was... restless. Remembering my secret upstairs, I ran up the steps and practically dove for my backpack. It had taken 2 years of mowing lawns, and walking dogs, but I had finally saved up enough money. Talking my friend into going to the mall with me was easy, and I was ecstatic when I had my hands on the iPod touch I worked for.

Though my parents didn't allow me a laptop, they had WiFi for the specific reason of school work. The computer in my dad's office was the only one in the house, and my janky flip phone didn't allow internet either. So I spent most of the last couple months, barricaded in my room and playing. I had discovered the App Store and between that and games, I was set... until a couple weeks ago...

No I can't!!

It was just once, okay twice and hiding the marks was hard now...

After urgings from friends at school, I found myself on PornHub. I spent all one night binging on porn, realizing how much I enjoyed watching men... 'fuck'... each other. I think it made me gay, since the images of woman made my dick go completely soft.

The next night, I found myself on a website called Kink.com. Their website had all this weird porn involving torture and pain, and for some reason, my insides ached for it. I couldn't shut it off, even after cumming time and time again. Days turned into weeks, until the night I tried it... I found a page about self-harm and how easy it was to do.

The next thing I knew, I had a light cut on my for arm and I was cumming to the feeling. When the fog cleared and I sobered up to my actions, I was horrified, mortified and ran to the toilet to vomit. I sat in the shower afterwards, panicking and trying to clean the wound... I swore up and down I would never do it again... but I did.

Now sitting here, alone in the house, I had the same sickening urge in my stomach. Staring down at the light red marks on my arm under my sleeve, I typed the words into the search bar. Finding the perfect clip, I played it and took the razor blade I had hidden under the rug in my room. Making three slices, I hissed and watched the crimson liquid seep out.

Using the same hand, I jacked my cock to the video. This muscled older man was violently whipping a smaller guy as he wailed and moaned. I saw drips of my blood fall on my stomach and some even on the hand I used to stroke with. Just as the scene changed to the boy being brutally fucked, I came with a shout!

Leaving the video playing beside me, I gasped for air as I tried to slow my galloping heart. Glancing down my chest, I saw my hand now dirty with a mix of red and cloudy white. The curious pink liquid beckoned me, and without thinking I closed my eyes, stuck my tongue out, and licked the mixture.

When I opened my eyes, my heart nearly stopped when I met my Father's shocked face. My bedroom door open, and just as quickly as I saw him, the door shut and I was left alone. The gay porn playing loudly, the bloody razor still laying beside me, while my stomach and chest are covered in cum.

- END OF FLASHBACK -

Wiping my tears away violently, I was ashamed to have felt any feeling for those people after that night. Now I realize as an adult, that my parents course of action was repulsive. Instead of seeking help for me, or talking to me, they ghosted me. They pretended I didn't exist, and for them, I'm sure I didn't. It wasn't long after that Theodore was conceived and they had their do-over.

Just as I thought about what I would have done in response to what I fear is apart of Teddy as well, the doorbell rang. I have no reason for worrying about my brother's sexuality, but just knowing I was born this sick and twisted, I fear for him. I wish him a normal and happy life, filled with light and love. Hopefully he will see me in the way our parents never had, and if he doesn't, I will at least know I loved him the way he should have been.

Checking the time on my phone quickly before opening the door, I saw the 1pm time staring back at me. I had to pick up Teddy from pre-k in an hour, since the Nanny doesn't start her regular hours until next week when I start my new job. The local hospital Emergency Department was more than eager to gain someone like me. Considering I would be a nurse experienced with Level 1 Traumas, I was more of an asset to them.

               "Good Afternoon." I spoke, the front door open as I looked at a middle-aged slim woman in a pantsuit.

                "Good Afternoon to you as well, are you Noel Brenner?" The ashy-blonde woman spoke, her voice and demeanor friendly.

                "I am, how may I help you today Miss...?"

                "Miss Sterling, and I'm from the Department of Children and Family Services..."

A stark chill suddenly ran down my spine as she spoke. The fear of having Teddy removed from my care scared me more than anything before. I knew I would do anything to protect him, no matter the personal sacrifice... so bring it Aunt Carol!

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