End Up Here [Niam]

Smoothie Break

I was pouring the milkshake in our glass cups when we heard them come in. I saw Niall jump and I looked at him. He tried to brush it off by grabbing his glass and taking a really long sip. Zayn, Harry and Louis came in and I knew right away that I wasn’t the only one feeling like this. All of them were trying to be careful, to pull up a front so they wouldn’t show how they really felt. I could see past them as they forced themselves to look at Niall and that made me angry. I suddenly felt like I should blame them for letting him run off. If they had kept a closer look on him, this would not have happened.

“Hey Niall,” Louis walked up and pulled him in a hug. I tried to ignore the look on Niall’s face when Louis squeezed too hard. I guess I was the only one who saw because no one reacted. I took a sip of my milkshake and I couldn’t swallow it. I excused myself and quickly ran up the stairs to my room and ran into the washroom. I spat it out in the sink.

I suddenly felt sick. I held my stomach and leaned over the toilet, waiting for something to come out. A minute passed and nothing happened. I rinsed the sink and went back downstairs. I looked in the kitchen and no one was there – my milkshake still on the counter. Maybe it was bad and then I realized, Niall was drinking his and I went to living room where everyone was squeezed together on the couch.

Niall was drinking his milkshake and he seemed to be enjoying it. I walked over to him. “Is it good?”

“Delicious.” He said, softly.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t the milkshake.

I sat down on the floor in between Niall’s legs and Harry flipped through the channels, staying on each channel for two seconds. He stayed on a movie that was pretty boring for about a good five minutes until Louis slapped the back of his head and told him to change it. He began flipping the channel when suddenly we saw our faces on the TV. He stopped on that channel and I knew that he shouldn’t have. I tried to grab at the remote but Harry had longer arms. “Hold your tits, Li.”

“Harry, I’m serious.” No one seemed to realize what was about to come on until Niall showed up on the TV with his face freshly bruised, cuts and blood running down his face. He was unconscious in Paul’s arms as Paul carried him to the van.

The reporter began to talk about the incident when I slapped Harry’s arm and he fumbled with the remote and turned it off. We sat there in a deafening silence and no one knew what to say – at least I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to think and I was afraid to look at Niall. “Alright,” Louis coughed. “That’s a no on the TV, why don’t we watch a movie?”

“I’m tired.” Niall said. I got to my feet before he did. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Do you want anything?” I said as I followed him up the stairs. I looked back at the others and they were watching us as we climbed up the stairs.

Niall shook his head but he didn’t say he wanted to be left alone or I probably didn’t get the message as I continued to follow him into his room. I pulled the sheets and waited until he was comfortable and I wrapped him in a cocoon. He gave a weak giggle and struggled to free his hands. He closed his eyes and I moved to leave the room when I heard him say my name. “Yeah?” I asked, turning around to look at him.

He was quiet. “Can you stay with me?”

I hesitated and I shouldn’t have. I regretted when he frowned and turned around, his back to me. Come on Liam, grow some balls and get in that bed with him. It’s not like I haven’t shared a bed with him before. There were times when we were assigned to be roommates and we were given one bed even though we had asked for two. I bit my lip and lay down next to him, careful to leave some room between us. He turns and his side rested on top of me, my arm trapped under him. I tried to relax and stop myself from wrapping my arms around his body because I am afraid to hurt him.

“Thanks.” He mumbled and closed his eyes, not even five minutes passed when he fell asleep. I watched him as he did and I felt slightly creepy for doing so. But I couldn’t help it, all I wanted to do was brush my hand on his cheek and tell him I’m sorry.

I froze and I tried to stop myself and push back my thoughts that I tried to bury. But I knew it couldn’t be helped so I let my thoughts go. I am guilty and I am ashamed that I was not there. I am angry at myself that I couldn’t help him and I am angry at the others for letting him leave their sights. I hate the people who did this to him. I hate them. I am terrified that Niall would not be the same and this would bother him for the rest of his life.

I bit my bottom lip and I continued to watch him sleep. I am so sorry Niall, if there was something I could have done then I would find a way to go back in time and change it.

There was a knock on the door and the door creaked open. I panicked and looked down at the sleeping body. He didn’t stir instead he continued to sleep peacefully. A head peeked through the doorway and another two. “What?” I hissed.

“We’ll be back; we’re going to the store.” Louis said as he tried to push the other two bodies out the room. I nodded and he left, closing the door.

I listened as they made a racket downstairs and finally the front door opened and closed. The body stirred beside me and he groaned. “Shh.” I hushed and wrapped my other arm around him.

He opened his eyes and grinned weakly and closed his eyes.