End Up Here [Niam]

Two Weeks Before Today

Two weeks before

I was watching the evening news when I heard the door swung open and hit the wall hard. The footsteps sounded from the foyer to down the hall and into the room. She was soaked from the pouring rain and as she stepped inside the room, and I immediately noticed her bloodshot eyes. I shot up from the bed and went to her side. She wrapped her arms around her and sobbed into my chest. I didn’t know what to do but I held her. I couldn’t speak or really do anything; I didn’t understand why she was here when last week I told her the truth.

“I’m sorry.” She calmed down. She pulled me closer and tightened her hold around my neck.

“Why are you apologizing?” I asked as stroked her hair. I pulled her to the bed.

We sat down and I waited until she calmed down. I helped her take off her jacket and she dropped her purse on the floor. “I don’t know.” She whispered and laughed, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink.

I smiled and took her hand. Her smile faltered slowly and she frowned as she looked at our hands. “What’s wrong?” I asked, pushing her hair from her face.

She was very quiet. It was so hard for me to see her like this. “I miss you.”

I laughed but I stopped when she looked at me with sad eyes. “Why?”

She sucked in her teeth and shook her head. “Forget it,” She stood up. “It was a mistake for me to come here.”

“Danielle, please.” I followed her and took her arm. Alright that was a stupid thing to say, Li. Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I just said that. I pulled her close to me and embraced her tightly. “Is it because of the break up?”

She choked back a sob and nodded into my chest. My heart broke in two and I hugged her even tighter. “I am so sorry.” I whispered in her hair.

“I guess I just didn’t expect it.” She whispered.

I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. She sighed and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend.”

She laughed and covered her face with her hands. “I just got friend zoned.”

“Babe, you mean the world to me.” I rubbed her arms up and down. “I can’t help it that I feel this way.”

“Is it Niall?” She sniffed, putting her hands away from her face. She had a small smile on her face.

“Look, he is not the reason why I broke up with you.” I poked her nose. “It’s just me. I’m gay. I know it is weird saying that but that’s who I am. Don’t think you were a cover up or something like that, babe I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too.” She said and kissed my cheek.

“You can hate me, you can say that you never want to see me ever again for having it go this long, but I’m going to say what I said that night. What we had is important to me, it was not a lie. Everything was true; I loved every moment of us.”

She smiled and reached up, touching my cheek and pulled me into a hug. “You were always good to me.”

I hugged her back and traced small patterns on her back. “Can we be friends?”

“Of course.”

We watched the news until it ended, watching weather reports of the rain that now was stopping gradually, and she said she had to leave. I walked with her to the door and she apologized that she left the door wide open. I shrugged and said it was okay. I held her more before she left and I watched her as she ran to her car and drive off. I closed the door and leaned against it. I closed my eyes and slid down to the floor.

Things were happening so fast, I didn’t know what to think anymore. I had been so sure that I had been in love with Danielle and I had made plans of being with her for a very long time. We had gone through so much with each other. I nearly bought a ring six months ago and the boys were egging me on. But I couldn’t at the time because we were so busy that I never had time for myself. Then things started to change, my feelings became different and I began to find myself. Over the months, I began to understand who I am.

So I thought, maybe I didn’t love Danielle as a person that I would want to spend my life with intimately but more as someone who I’d rather have as a friend. She’s been in a big part of my life that I didn’t want to damage that. When I told her, I had been terrified. I wanted her desperately to know that I had loved her and every moment we had together. I tried to understand how this came as a shock to her and how she was feeling. But I’m just glad that we left off on good terms.

With that somewhat out of the way, I honestly don’t mean it in a bad way, I just had something else bothering me. I am in love with my best friend and he is straight as a stick. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialled. He picked up in three rings. “Liam?” He said in the other line.

I smiled at his voice. He always seemed to cheer me up. “Want to hang, maybe watch a movie or something?”

“Sure!” He said, sounding very excited. “I’ll be there in a few.”

“Alright, I’ll go on ahead a make the popcorn and can you pick up some soda?”

“Of course and make sure you put-”

“Butter?” I smiled, knowing he would only eat his popcorn with melted butter. “I know, Ni.”

He laughs. “Be there soon and I know you want coca cola.”

I laugh with him and smile, running my fingers through my hair. “Of course.”