It has been a week since the funeral and I haven't left the house, I have barely eaten anything. I haven't spoken at all. I have nothing to say. I've withdrawn into myself, keeping everyone else out. Nat has tried talking to me, to no avail. My other friends have tried but still I've remained silent. I know I should talk to someone but I can't. They say funerals help you say goodbye but I just can't. I don't want to let go. I've stayed in the spare room for a while, only wanting to be alone. I opened the door to Ben's room to see him asleep in bed. I quickly wrote a note saying I've gone out and will be back soon and left it on his bedside table. It had rained over night and there was a light mist in the morning air. I pulled my hood over my head, put my hands in my pockets as I walked down the road. The church was only a five minute walk away. We have a small urn of her ashes there. I walked over to it and placed my hand against the cold stone. Here I had so much to say but no words would come out. I sank to my knees in floods of tears. Still no words came to me.
I stayed there, crying for what seemed like ages. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped and turned around. A woman who appeared to be in her 60s, she looked at me with worried eyes. "Friend or family?" I still had so much to say but no words formed. I just looked at the small engraved stone that read *loving mother and fiend.* I pointed to the word mother as more tears formed in my eyes. "I see. Where's your dad then. Is he here to?" She asked. I nodded. "Good." She smiled. I shook my head and walked a row down to the place where my dad's urn was and pointed at it. "Oh. I'm sorry." she said walking over to me. "I come to see my husband. You see. He is next to your dad. Do you have any family to live with?" I shrugged. "Not much of a talker are you? I'm sure your voice is beautiful. What's your name?"
"B-Beth." I said in a quiet tone.
"Well Beth. I'm Elsie. Do you have anywhere to go?"
"Yeh. I've been taken in by... by a family friend."
"Good. We all need someone in times like this. I had my sister. If you don't mind me asking what happened?"
"Her boyfriend was abusive. He beat her to death."
"Is that how that happened?" She said indicating my casted leg.
"Yeh." She helped me back to my crutches.
"I'll walk you home."
"Thank you." We spoke as we walked back home. I found her husband died of a stroke and how she too didn't really have many family to fall back on.
I knocked on the door which Ben answered. "You're back thank god. How are you?" He asked pulling me into a hug.
"I'm okay."
"Did you just?"
"Yeh."
"I thought I'd never hear your voice again. Who's this?"
"Ben this is Elsie. I met her at the church. She was visiting her husband. and she walked me home."
he turned to Elsie. "Thank you. It is a pleasure to meet you too."
"Any time. I just thought she needed someone to talk to. Well it seems that you are in good hands. Goodbye Beth. I hope I'll see you soon."
"Thanks again."
"Yeh see you Elsie!" I called with my head pressed against Ben's chest. He closed the door behind me and looked me in the eyes.
"I'm glad you're talking again."
"Me too. Otherwise who else could tell you how adorable you are?" I smiled feebly at him. I've hardly slept, I would drag myself out of nightmares to find no relief in waking. Now I feel that sleep is all I want. I know I was standing but I could feel my eye lids becoming heavy. Ben picked me up and carried me to his room and gently placed me on his bed.
"Sleep. I've heard you screaming at night. Sleep now please."
"Okay." I said as I let my eyes fall shut. I could stay awake no longer.
Sorry it's taken so long to update and this one is a bit shit but heh. Here y'all go. Xxxxxxxx
