cuddles - mairi

five

kairi often thinks about what he considers to be a pivotal moment in his and mattia's relationship. the night they stayed up and talked until the sun rose.

-

the last day of school came and went, finals didn't go easy on them their sophomore year. kairi remembers the history final fucked him over the worst.

that's why the second the final bell rang on that muggy june day, kairi was more than happy to leave the tense classroom. finals have a way of crushing teen spirit, but summer has a way of granting them new life.

the boys planned a big sleepover. alvaro insisted all the boys come over to spend the weekend at his new house. it was kind of the only thing that kept them afloat, the anxiety of finals weighing heavily on them.

and sure, of course, kairi was excited to hang with the crew and laugh and make dick jokes, but his heart was really waiting to see mattia. his tall friend had distanced himself the past few weeks. while it had worried kairi, he brushed it off, persistently telling himself mattia was studying or something else important.

and to make matters worse, mattia had texted the groupchat, citing some dumb dad said i got chores. sry. kairi felt a little more than unnerved. he wondered what possibly could be preventing mattia from what he had once claimed were his favorite people in the world. or even kairi, who mattia had whispered in his ear to tell him that the japanese boy that he was his favorite person in the world.

so it wasn't really a lie when he said finals had him a little frazzled, it was just withholding the truth: mattias absence had him a lot more worried than some fucking test ever could.

kairi dialed mattias number, which was easier than scrolling through his contacts because he had it memorized anyway. it rang passively six times before mattias deep voice politely asked him to leave a message at the tone. kairi listened to the entire voicemail greeting just to hear mattia's deep voice in his ear.

he didn't end up leaving a voicemail, but he did end up texting him asking him to call him back. kairi shrugged it off, even though mattia ignoring his calls felt like a slap in the face. he was positive mattia would come to alvaro's later. maybe he was in a bad mood now or whatever, but kairi knew he was too much of the jealous type to just sit at home feeling left out while the boys hung out.

instead, he headed to the meeting spot where alvaro's mom would be picking everyone up. the heat made his bag feel 10 pounds heavier and he couldn't help but think that mattia would've offered the carry the backpack if he were there with him.

hoping for a text back, kairi wanted to break into tears when his text was marked read: 3:34pm.

-

the car ride didn't feel right either. maybe it was because it was too quiet, or maybe robert's nose wasn't being made fun of enough. kairi eventually decided it was because there was actually enough seats for everyone, so this time he was actually seated on the hot leather and not on mattia's lap with the italian's inviting arms holding him tightly instead of a seatbelt.

-

alvaro's new house had a weird vibe too. or at least, kairi blamed it on the house.

alvaro had a much bigger room, the other newly minted juniors were spread across it and talking about how shitty their sophomore year was and how they were glad it was over.

kairi sat in the corner on a bean bag they'd stolen from alv's sister's room. he tried to involve himself in the conversation, honestly. he'd nod along and laugh at the funny parts, but he disagreed. he thought they had a great sophomore year. it had its ups and downs, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. he had so many memories, all of them were so special to him and they made him happy, even the sad ones because he liked to think about how they turned out alright.