Brooklyn 99 Short Stories

Die Hard-and-Seek

Plot: Amy picks Mac up from school, he's six years old and just like his dad. He loves Die Hard.

Amy unlocks the apartment door and Mac runs into the loungeroom, hyper and ready to tackle Jake. He looks around and stops. "Daddy? Daddyyyyy?" There's no response from Jake, this makes him confused and a little upset because normally he gets a hug from his dad as soon as he gets home from school. Amy walks over to Mac as she can see he's upset. She kneels down to his level "Hey, its okay! Dad is at work, he'll be home soon" she says and smiles. "I'm going to go get changed out of this uniform and I'll be out soon, okay?" Mac nods his head

Amy kisses his forehead and walks down the hall, into their room. Mac runs and launches himself up onto the couch because he can't get onto it without a little help. He watches the TV and waits for his mom to come back out. As he's watching tv, something else catches his attention. His mom calling out to him for help, in the way that someone would call out to you if they were looking for you, but it was the other way around. He jumps off the couch and starts walking through the hallway "Mommy? Where are you?" He looks in every room, even the laundry. "I'm in our room! Come here!" she calls again. He enters their room and finds Amy dressed as Holly Gennaro from Die Hard in a chair next to their bed, loosely tied up with two bathrobe belts. Mac smiles because he knows exactly what's about to happen.

"McClane." Jake walks out from behind their dresser, dressed up like Hans Gruber. Beard and all. "DADD-" He thinks about running to Jake and hugging him but he stops himself and gives Jake a dirty look. "NOT DADDY! HANS GRUBER! I BE BACK MOMM- HOLLY!" Mac runs into his room and searches for his outfit. He throws on his little white John McClane singlet and he picks up his toy gun. He runs back into their room and Jake and Amy can't help but to smile at him "God he's so much like you Jake" This brings a tear to Jake's eye "I know" he dramatically wipes it away from his eye and quickly snaps back into character. Jake chose to be Hans Gruber so Mac could play as the character he was named after. This was the only way Jake would be Hans anyway.

"Now I have machine gun! ho ho ho!" Jake leans down to Amy's head "He's got quotes! From the movie Ames!" Jake excitedly whispers into Amy's ear. Mac holds up his plastic gun, which is clearly just a nerf gun. "Don't worry mommy! I'll save you from the bad man!" he yells as he runs into their room, jumping onto their bed like he did with the couch and he unloads some of the foam bullets into Jakes arm. "Ow! You shot me!" Mac stops, shocked and he lowers the nerf gun "Sorry daddy! did that hurt?" he asks "Oh no Mac, it didn't hurt buddy! I was playing" Jake laughs "Oh ok!" Mac smiles, aims at Jake again and shoots the rest of the bullets and laughs. "Well that was uncalled for" Jake runs out of the room, clutching his shoulder. "FIRST ONE TO FIND ME WINS!" he calls back to them.

Mac throws his big toy gun onto the ground in front of the bed. He has to do that because he can't jump down without the gun somehow hurting him because its bigger than him. He has tried this before when he woke Jake and Amy up one morning wanting to play. He lays on his stomach and moves his body down the side of the bed until he feels his feet on the floor. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he rushes over to Amy and unties the fluffy bathrobe belts. Amy fake-struggles. "Lets go get him" Amy whispers to him, Mac leaves his nerf gun, lying next to the bed and they both quietly sneak out of the bedroom.

Amy crouches and follows Mac as they sneak into the small laundry room and look around for Jake, once again he's no where to be seen. Then again, the laundry wouldn't be a great spot to hide because its so small and a grown man couldn't hide in there no matter how hard he tried. As they look around the laundry, Amy is surprised at how thorough Mac is being in his searches. Looking everywhere from the washing machine to the up-high cupboard that Amy has to lift him to look into. They leave the laundry room and enter the bathroom. The window above the bath reveals a person and casts their shadow on the shower curtain. A shadow that could only be coming from Jake.

Mac slowly grabs onto the shower curtain with his tiny hand and ever so quietly, or so he thinks and says quietly "I'm counting three and there won't be four!" He starts counting up to three and pulls the curtain back as fast as he can on two and screams "THREE" into the bathtub to startle the person standing there. As Mac pulls back the curtain, it is revealed to them that Jake had placed a cardboard cutout of himself dressed as Hans with a piece of paper taped to the chest with "WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL" scrawled on it. "Sneaky bad man-dad" Mac whispers to himself, which Amy finds incredibly adorable

"So, where are we going to now?" Amy asks him and he shushes her "Shhh Mommy! He could be anywhere!" Amy stands there in disbelief because he just screamed "THREE" at the top of his lungs and Amy wasn't allowed to speak at a normal volume. She goes along with the hush anyway. "Follow me mommy." Mac demands and Amy accepts. she crouches behind him again and follows him through the hallway into the loungeroom. They slowly creep over into the kitchen area and they hide behind the cupboards separating the kitchen and loungeroom. Jake lets out a small Hans Gruber style laugh from the other side which Amy thinks is a little creepy but Mac takes it as a taunt, telling him exactly where his dad is.

"Mommy, pick me up" he tells Amy "Why? What are you doing Mac?" "Put me on the bench! I know where Daddy is" he giggles. Amy picks him up and stands him on the bench above Jake. He looks down and finds Jake sitting there waiting for Mac to come around the corner of the bench. Mac turns to Amy and whispers "Silly daddy". Amy smiles and whispers back to him "Go get him McClane" Mac turns back to the other side, scopes out where he's going to land and goes for it. He jumps off the counter and in front of Jake "YIPPIE KAYAK OTHER BUCKETS!" He screams and Jake jumps. "AH- Jeez Mac! You got me so good!" He laughs and pulls him in for the biggest hug yet. "Did I get you daddy?" "Oh you got me sooo good, my hearts still pounding!" Jake and Mac hug again. "You won bud! Now, you know what you need to do now" and Jake looks at Mac, very seriously

At the end of Die Hard, John lets Hans Gruber fall from the 30th floor of Nakatomi Plaza but obviously, Jake can't fall from a building so in their own little recreation of the scene, Jake sits backwards on the lounge with Mac and Amy next to him. Mac uses his little hands to push him off the couch and onto the ground. Jake falls in slow-motion off the couch and lands on the floor. He lies there, motionless, for a couple seconds until he can't hold his laughter in, listening to Mac and Amy laugh at him on the floor.

Well, that is the end of that short fic! I hope you guys like reading it as much as I liked writing it

I will try and update this as much as possible. Have fun reading!