Sapphires and Emeralds (MikaYuu)

Where? (An update)

     Chesnut colored eyes flit over the screen, irises rimmed with a pale red. She is tired and the eyebags are proof enough. Always tired- nothing changes. Notifications come in. Blinking lights on her phone of a dim blueish color, almost unseen due to the light coming in through her windows. Her vision is hazy, pale skin dusted with a film of white as she types.
     She's grown up. At an age where everything she held dear once no longer means so much. Those notifications taunt her somewhat. Memories of a burning desire that she no longer has. Only a burning will is left in the world. Calamity has stricken. Unfortunate events have occurred. Are occuring.
     Yet, she is sorry. Sorry for those she has disappointed and for those who criticized her younger self. If only they could see her now. Those who have left and those who have stayed. How interesting in their love.. One that burns brighter than any star that paints the sky in its longing light. The saintly abyss that draws her in within the night like a blanket given to a cold, lonely, lost child is a similar affection. So sorry is she to those who worried and to those who had a glimmer of hope. And a sorry to those she has given her last goodbyes to. And to new hellos left unwhispered. Unhindered...

...

     I've obviously impoved.. huh? It's been.  three years since I've updated. Life is well most of the time, which is odd to say given everything happening in the world now. And obviously... I've stopped updating this. It says ongoing.. but I didn't even think it would say that. Forgot about that mechanic. After my last update.. I kind of fell of the platform. I was happy to see my book grow- also very embarrassed at my ood writing. Even more so now seeing as how cocky I was. My old writing makes me want to hurl in honesty.
     And well- This book will never fully be finished, much less continue, but I did come to deliver news. I will make a final chapter within the coming weeks as my classes for the year end. For all of you who held on. It won't finish the story but will be an ending. An ending to an era and a final goodbye to emotions and words left unsaid. A love letter to my younger self and to you- my readers.
     Even if I never updated- I read each and every comment that came in. Your passion for my shitty writing gives me a burning fire for every word I now write and I can only hope that light never dwindles. And I read every critique and question and laughed to myself. I made you all call me 'Luci~Sama' and I deeply apologize. Call me Luci. None of that embarrassing stuff left, yeah?

     Now.. Where was I?
     I was growing up. I'm the time I started this book, I had recently lost my brother and my pet. Later on it was also a toxic relationship that I, thankfully, quickly quickly got out of, that messed up me wanting to finish. And eventually.. as I got happier... I no longer wanted to write this. I think the story came from a place of wanting to cling to what I loved... and as I grew and forgave - I no longer needed to cling onto that fear so tightly. It still exists, but now I am in a better state of mind. I still have no true desire to finish the story. I still love Owari no Seraph and it remains in my top 5 anime and manga, however, I simply have no zest for it anymore. This was my first and last fanfiction and I will never forget the encouragement you all gave- hence why I'll be writing the extra chapter.
     I also realize that I kept making short chapters. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't kept apologizing.. made it super obvious that I was too worried about how I came off to others.
     But no. I'm not dead. Haven't forgotten either.. just.. not inspired and probably won't be.. ever again. No muse for this story. It never really had one, honestly, it was a pet project and something I wanted to to. Aimless but aimed at nothing meaningful.
     This update is longer than the other chapters... sadly.
     Thank you for reading and stay tuned for the conclusion...No- I won't drop off again.

     Remember. I love you all. Thank you and I await hearing from you again.

               ~Luci