Instant Family (SWSH Fanfic)

Coping Mechanisms: Part 3.5

Marnie groaned and stirred in the couch, Nessa and Piers's hands reached simultaneously out to comfort her. Piers stopped midway and let Nessa brush her cheek. He looked down at his hands, doing his best to shake off the wavy nausea he was battling.

I'm just one big fuck up, aren't I. What a drag...

His inner voice seemed far off. Nessa sighed and turned her gaze toward him. The sun had set, the soft neon lights bled through the window and painted his sullen, pale face.

"What're you doing back, then...?"

Piers struggled to maintain eye contact.

"I can't go back out Nessa. I can't do it anymore..." he let out a sigh, "I'm just... not cut out for any of this. I thought I was doing what I wanted, it just never felt..." he cleared his throat as he struggled to find the words, "... right." He turned his gaze down to his sister, fixating on her face. "I've already gone and missed out on too much." He stood up, offering his hand to Nessa.

"Geez, you're so cold..." she let out a small grunt as he hoisted her up. He wobbled a bit as they walked to the kitchen table.

"She never told me." Piers slumped into the heavily worn wooden chair and pulled out his lighter. He flicked at the flint with his thumb and watched the sparks fly in a trance. "She never told me anything. She never felt like she could talk to me..." he jerked his wrist to extinguish the small flame, Nessa flinched at the metallic clank.

"Piers..."

"I'm supposed to be there for her, Nessa. It's just us. I was off fuckin' about and living a daydream while she carried Spikemuth on her back." His eyes narrowed as he flipped the top of the lighter open once again and reignited the flame. It let out a sizzle as he watched.

"I left her alone. And now she's dealing with this... I fucked up as a brother..." the flame illuminated his face from below as he broke out of his trance, his sunken, piercing green eyes snapping up to Nessa's. She scooted closer and reached out her hand.

"That's not true, Piers." Her hand cradled his, they held the small flame together. "You're her hero. That'll never change—" Piers opened his mouth to interject but Nessa squeezed his hand firmly, "— plus— you weren't happy here." She licked the thumb and pointer finger of her free hand and smothered the wick of the lighter. A faint sizzle crackled as she stood up and walked to the sink, un-fastening the faucet nozzle to begin cleaning it out. "It's unfair to you if you're gonna just keep pigeon holing yourself as Marnie's end-all-be-all," flecks of water splashed on her jeans as she spoke, the sink drain guzzling down the sick, "have you ever thought that maybe Marnie didn't tell you so you didn't have to worry?" She paused and looked over to Piers's glum face.

Silence save the steady flow of tap water filled the small brownstone. Marnie turned to her side in her sleep. Piers spaced out into the distance until the faucet handle squeaked. The tap rhythmically dripped against the tin sink.

"Do you really think that?" Piers turned his body to face Nessa as she took her seat at the kitchen table once more. She nodded silently. "I still could've done a better job at telling her I love her... no matter what..." he crossed his leg and tossed the lighter on the table, "it wasn't a big secret to me... she never put a pillow behind her backboard..." he cringed and Nessa let out a small giggle. She leaned forward and grabbed his hand once again.

"It's not too late, Piers," she glanced at Marnie's silhouette, "I'm serious— you're actually her hero. Just— maybe take some time to help her out. You two can kick some of these—" she stood up and grabbed the tattered pack of cigarettes up from the counter and waved it with a grimace on her face, "— bad habits together. How bout you teach her to face her problems head-on instead of running away..." she stepped on the paddle of the trash can to open it up and tossed the pack in. The lid came to a thud as she leaned on the kitchen table, pointing firmly at a sheepish Piers. "Which means you can stay for a day or two— but you have to lead by example. Whatever's keeping you from going back on tour? You gotta face it, buddy. You need to get back out there before you get too comfortable here..." she pushed against the edge of the table and began to walk back to the couch, checking in on Marnie.