Rantbook d'une fille hyperactive autiste

Pourquoi...?

Mon père a l'air tellement plus... dure avec moi... j'en pleure... je voulais partir... j'en peux plus de cette souffrance...

Voilà quelques chansons que je les écoute dans ces moments...

"Difficiles"...

"I'm caught up in your expectations
You're trying to make me live your dream
But I'm causing you so much frustration
And you "only want the best for me"
You wanted me to show more interests
To always keep a big bright smile
Be that pinky little perfect princess
But I'm not that type of child
And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

Tell me why you're putting pressure on me
And everyday you 'cause me harm
That's the reason why I feel so lonely
Even though you hold me in your arms
Wanna put me in a box of glitter
But I'm just trying to get right out
And now you're feeling so so bitter
Because I've let you down
And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

Can't you see how I cry for help
'Cause you should love me just for being myself
I'll drown in an ocean
Of pain and emotion
If you don't save me right away

Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away
And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out

The Silent Scream

My Silent Scream"

"I can't handle these pressures
All I can say is, this stress hurts
Things are supposed to get better
I just need to put myself first
I'm always trying my hardest
Not to pick myself apart, this
Energy's killing my vibes now
Sometimes I just wanna drown out
All of the thoughts in my mind, too much
Going on at the same time, I
Wish it would stop and I've tried, but
Life just sucks then we all die
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I'm good enough
Or maybe I've just had too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Wish I could erase my memories
So I could stop feeling so empty
I wish that shit wasn't so tempting
But it's hard to resist when there's plenty
Of things I could do to fuck me up
I want to let go, but I'm feeling so stuck
So all I can do is fill up my cup
And sit here alone hoping no one disrupts
That's just reality, yeah, don't lie to me
Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I don't wanna be
I wonder if I'm good enough
Or maybe I've had just too much
To drink, to smoke, to swallow
I'm drowning up my sorrows
There's rules I'll never follow
Pretend there's no tomorrow
I wish there was no tomorrow
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
My body's shaking
My head is aching
It feels like my heart is breaking
My body's shaking
My head is aching
I can't fix this mess I'm making
But I'm empty inside, yeah, I'm empty inside
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die
Yeah, I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive
And I don't wanna live, but I'm too scared to die"