꧁𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤꧂ (South Park x reader oneshots)

[🥀/🌸] Kyle x Insecure!Closeted!Male!Reader

Background music: Feelings are fatal by mxmtoon
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Sorry if this hits too close to home, it did to me so, this is my first fanfic :')
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꧁Y/N's POV꧂
I observe as Kyle rushes past me whereas his emerald green eyes sparkling in wide sunshine, the wind blowing through his perfect red tinted hair, and the delicate kissable lips waiting to be caressed. I wish I could tell him about the emotional connection. I wish I could just tell him that I love him. These feeling and thoughts hurt me like twenty thistles spearing through my skin, and through my heart. What would he think of me on the off chance that I told him I was into him? I mean he probably doesn't like me in that way anyways.

I make my way to class, hoping that the lectures the teacher brings forth will distract me. Unfortunately it didn't help, all my mind could think of are more excuses to love Kyle. All I could think of is his perfect persona and his warm smile assuring me that things will get better. The way he makes me laugh and smile even through the darkest times.

My thoughts were interrupted by the one and only gingered boy. "Hey, class has ended, you should try to hurry before the bell rings." He says as he watches me fall out of my desk, clearly having a gay panic. "Aha, yeah, right, class is a thing.." I respond while boast myself up, dusting my clothes off. I walk out of classroom to insure that I wouldn't embarrass myself more, god I can't do anything right...

꧁[𝐓𝐢𝗺𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩]꧂

I lay on my bed, alone and afraid of what people would think of me liking another male. I wish I was normal. I wish I was better. I shouldn't have a crush on the only person that makes me feel safe and comfortable. What would happen if it ruins our friendship? What if he thinks I'm a freak? What if he doesn't want to be friends anymore?? What if he hates me?..

The thoughts flow through my mind as the motivation and confidence leave my body as I feel paralyzed, unable to rise from my bed to grab my dinner. My stomach twists at the thought of socializing, it brings endless thoughts and possibilities of the things that could go wrong. What is wrong with me? Am I just an abomination? Those questions spin through my mind as I feel my eyelids begin to feel heavy.

꧁[𝐓𝐢𝗺𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩]꧂ (again)

I walk to the bus stop as I stuff my shivering hands in my pockets. I see as Kyle and Cartman yell about stupid shit that they could think of. I watch as the bus stops to pick us up, I step in as I slide into an empty seat while placing my backpack on the open spot. Kyle enters the bus as he talks to Stan. Of course he didn't notice me, why would he? I turn the side to watch the background around us.

The bus arrives at school as I get up to exit the bus while sending a smile to the bus driver. My feet feel heavy as the thought of another dull and useless day being spent at school. I feel a warmth suddenly surrounding my presence. "Hey, Y/N, sorry for not greeting you at the bus stop, Cartman just said that the earth was a triangle, I just needed to correct his dipshit response to my project." Kyle says as I feel his arm rap around my shoulder, making a slight pink blush appear on my cheeks.

We make our way to the homeroom, the warm sensation of Kyle's touch made my worries disappear as a smile forms on my face. Unfortunately that feeling didn't last as I feel myself getting cold and reality hitting me like a brick. I sit down as the teacher walks into the classroom, getting ready to teach another lesson.

꧁[𝐋𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐓𝐢𝗺𝐞]꧂
I sit down at the table with the other guys. I glanced at Kyle as he eats his packed lunch. All my mind could process is his perfect looks and personality. The way his hair blew in the wind, and his eyes shined with life. Unfortunately, my thoughts were interrupted by Heidi  Turner pulling my hair, making me fall to the ground. "Move dipshit, I want to sit with my boyfriend, Cartman." The whole cafeteria went silent as I feel thousands of eyes impale me and my self worth. I feel myself turn red as embarrassment fill my body. I glance at Kyle to see if he cared, all he did was stare. Of course he doesn't care, no one cares, no one cares about my disgusting self. I feel as if my body acted on my own as my legs start to run out of the area. I just want to escape this monstrosity.

My body sat in the stall of the boys bathroom. My eyes begin to water as the feeling of regret and shame replace any positive thought and emotion that came to me. Kyle didn't care. The tears get worse as I feel the snot exit my nose. The only person that makes me feel like someone important, doesn't care.

My thoughts were delayed when a specific male individual barged into the bathroom. "Y/N ARE YOU IN HERE??" My fist tense up as I felt myself open the stall door.

Kyle hurried to me grasping me into a warm and delicate hug. "I'm sorry that Heidi was being a bitch, I took care of it.." Tears begin to form on my face as my weak arms don't hug back. "Y/N are you ok?.." Kyle removes his hands off of me. I hesitate but respond, "Kyle.. I like you. This feeling takes over my body as the insecurities fill my head. I don't want to lose you, that's why I never told you. The possibility of the feeling being returned are slim. Why would you like a boy, much less.. me." I feel my knees give out as my body falls to the floor balling my eyes out. This is it, this is the end of our friendship, why did I tell him, I'm so stupid. I feel Kyles hands cuff my check as he kisses my forehead. "Don't worry, I like you too.. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, I was afraid of what you would think of me-" I interrupted Kyle's sentence tackling him onto the floor with a hug.

"Thank you."

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Authors note: sorry for the short chapter, I finally pulled myself to write my first fanfic. I'm sorry if this is too much, I like writing with my emotions and shit idk. I'm sorry if this wasn't a really good x reader because it was too intense- I mean it was an angst but you know what I mean, it's really extra lol. Leave requests in the comments I guess. Yes I do poly, nsfw, straight stuff and other shit, just please no teacher x student, it makes me uncomfortable because it's a minor with an adult so none of that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯