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Angel sat with Rue and Jules at lunch, Jules going on and on about this Tyler guy. She slid the phone over to the two girls, "I mean, it's huge, right?" Jules grinned. Rue made a face while Angel just glanced at it, going back to her salad, "Don't front, it's a big dick."
"You know what? It may be, but, uh, we can't really tell, cause it's just fucking floating in space." Rue explained, sliding the phone back to Jules.
"So?"
Angel sighed, looking up to her fellow blonde, "So there's no way to compare scale. You know, if there's a fucking hand in the roam, at least you can be, like, okay, it's about the size of an adult male hand." Angela told him.
"Or, like twice the size. Or a fucking fraction of the size." Rue added.
"Guys, this is an objectively big dick." Jule huffed, pointing to the dick pic on the screen. Rue and Angel look to each other.
"It's time you had a lesson on dick pics." Angel sighed. "Some people say that eyes are the windows to the soul. I disagree, i think it's your dick and how you photograph it."
"Yeah, there are two different types of dick pics. Solicited, and unsolicited." Rue started, "Solicited makes up for about one percent of all dick pics sent and received. But within that one percent, there are three categories. Terrifying, horrifying, and acceptable." Jules stared at the girls in shock, they had collectively received many dick pics to be able to figure all of this out.
"I know what you're thinking, terrifying and horrifying sounds like the same thing. It's not." Angel pointed out, "To a trained eye, it could be the difference between a basic hygiene issue. Or, a life or death situation."
"Exactly, so, here are some key things to look out for. Uncapped deodorant touching the floor." Angel gagged, shuddering.
"Horrifying. Jug of lotion."
Rue scrunched up her nose, shaking her head. "Terrifying. But dirty fingernails." Both girls gagged, "Horrifying." The two stated in sync.
"And on the odd occasion, a medical sword?" She moved closer to Jules, the blonde backing up slightly, "Fucking run."
"So then," Jules hummed, looking through her phone, "Is this acceptable." She smirked, passing the phone over to Rue and Angel, their eyes widened.
"Wow, okay." Angel nodded.
"So, his penis is the size of an Evian bottle." Rue gaped. "Well, the lighting is nice. Uh, his room looks clean. Looks well-groomed."
"Right?" Jules beamed.
"Okay, yeah. I'm starting to see the appeal."
"Thank you." She sighed, "But, here's the thing. I, like, sent him a few pics from the school bathroom during class because he asked me to-"
