oceans

strawberry milk

Spring 2016.

As the ray of sunlight refracts on his face, Park Jeongwoo closes his eyes as he composes himself in a public space. Spring has always been his favorite season, but it was different now. His eyes trifles with the colorless display, the bright blue sky and pink cherry blossoms that are presumed to give lightness in his heart, has now turned to a dull, unappreciated sight.

He roams his eyes on the scenery. Everyone was smiling. Groups of teens teasing, a couple exchanging sweet gestures. He closed his eyes, not because of bitterness. He closed because no matter how much he wanted to see the good, his heart feels empty. He holds his chest to try feeling the subtle emotion he's been trying to seek for a while now.

'Stop wishing for something that will never happen Jeongwoo' he beat his chest and look up to hold back the tears nearing to fall from his eyes. Walking away, he looks back one more time and left a sad smile.

'Everyone has something to say, but very few people listen' It was autumn that year when he met a stranger for the first time, or just as he thought.

The guy sat beside him, sips on his strawberry milk, and uttered, 'I've been seeing you in our classes, but you always look so lost with your thoughts. I tried reaching out to you countless times, but you always just walk pass by me and again, lost' the stranger's lip rose as their eyes met.

'Familiar' Jeongwoo thought, later shifted his gaze because of the slight quivers he felt, he asks, 'Did we happen to become groupmates? I am sorry I was - my thesis has been occupying my thoughts lately'

The stranger faced him, still sipping on his strawberry milk, with a slight smirk on his lips, the latter has been staring profoundly that made him a little nervous and his face felt burning. After a while, the stranger chuckled, pressing his lips to stop himself from bursting on laughter, a soft snap then he spoke 'Earth to Park Jeongwoo'

The stranger leaned closer to him and softly whispers, 'I was trying to flirt with you.'

Paused.

Suddenly, Jeongwoo has become receptive to his surroundings.

The echoes of the laughter from the distant group trying to get their way to the bus, the humming of the birds under the trees. The colors and the sounds have started to give way from his monotone and gray perspectives.

He suddenly remembers, it is him - it's that kid. The kid who always bugs him to play outside. The kid who always offers his shoulders for him to cry. The kid who endlessly nags him to live his life happily when they were young. He never learned his name; he has been raised in an individualist household that resulted in him becoming oblivious to other things apart from what his parents taught him to be 'important'.

~

'Say, friend - by any chance, do you want to play pirates with me? Or maybe, we can move to India together?'

The sun is nearing to set and the Japanese boy knew perfectly that it may take weeks again before he can see his friend once they separate ways. He doesn't want to go just yet, but he doesn't want his friend to get hurt too.

The tanned skin kid just looks at him still unaware of the events that may happen if he went home late, he then whispers, 'P-pirates. I'd like that, next time let's play pirates.'

'Yes, yes and then, we'll have a tea party with our crewmates. We'll recruit a lot of people, we'll have a big family. A really big home' the Japanese kid retorted with happiness as his friend agrees on playing with him again.

The tanned kid boy eyes we're still desolate as ever, though his pale innocent cheeks light up a little before he asks,' Say, friend, what is Home feels like? How should it look like?'

'A home is where happiness is.' Haruto pointed out his friend's heart.

'Happiness? W-what is happiness then?'

It took a while for Haruto to answer. Haruto bends his knee forward to reach the eye level of his friend and whispers.

'It's what your heart desires'

'Desires? Like money?'

'Hahaha silly, but yeah, if you desire it. Do you?'

'No.'

'What do you desire then?'

'I don't know. But I feel like there's something I desire, I don't know'

'Jeongwoo!' A feminine voice echoed in the park, a middle-age woman went their way and without even glancing at Haruto, the woman dragged the other kid from the see-saw and started her nagging.

'How many times I told you to practice your violin, you have a recital at the end of the month and you still have the luxury to play outside?' the woman continued nagging while Haruto watched them leave.

A middle-aged man comes and grabs Haruto while saying, 'It's time for us to go home, son' Haruto was still sulking while walking and his father carried him on his back to comfort him.

Silence.

'Dad, I understand parents are not perfect and that old person commits more mistakes than us children, but I just wish they would make better decisions so I won't be seeing my friend cry almost every day' he sniffs.

His dad was patting his back as he sobs as he continues, 'I wish I have the power to protect my friend, Dad. I hate that I am this powerless. I wanted to grow old so I can protect him and not see him cry any longer'

~

'Have you watched it?'

'W-what?'

'The movie, you promised me before right? You'll watch it with me the next time we get to spend time together.' Ruto said with a hint of longing in his eyes.

'It never happened though' a small voice, hopefully staring at Jeongwoo.

Silence.

'This may be a bit straight-forward but I've liked you for a long time now. Can we date, Park Jeongwoo?' the stranger asked.

Shocked, Jeongwoo suddenly shifted his gaze, very wrong of him yes - but his confusion and curiosity with this brave man are becoming so intense his body quickly reacted when he heard the latter's confession.

'I-I' he was lost.

Park Jeongwoo was lost with his words.

'You know the saying 'silence means yes'' the stranger smiled widely.

'I'm kidding. Sorry - but I just really wanted to learn you more. I don't think I can still live a day knowing I've been missing an opportunity to get closer to you, not when I've been waiting since we were young. So, I want to ask for your consent. Can we like, watch movies together tonight?'

'I-I don't know what to say' Jeongwoo stutteringly said, still lost with his words, he heard Haruto chuckles.

'Okay, okay. You don't have to panic. Relax' Haruto teases his old friend which brings pouts to the latter and a dead gaze that made Haruto burst into laughter. After a while, the bell rang indicating the resume of their classes, or at least for some.

'I have a class, well then. See you when I see you? Though I think we'll meet later?'

'Why later?'

Haruto paused upon hearing Jeongwoo's question. Jeongwoo was as confused as to why would the latter would react like that. After a while, Haruto leans closer to him, holds his chin, and slowly brings his mouth near Jeongwoo's ear.

'You're as delicate as ever, so cute. I really like that about you. You're the most innocent human I've seen, did you know that, Park Jeongwoo?' Haruto whispers which bring shivers to tanned skinned man. Haruto winks playfully at the latter for the last time before he separates ways with him.