oceans

deep ocean, hands intertwined and assurances

Summer of 2020.

Haruto holds Jeongwoo's hand with warmth. Their favorite band, King Gnu is going to play at the festival.

'I've bought us tickets, let's go. We might be able to reserve a good spot' Haruto said.

The smell of old streets. The colorful view of the lantern and people in yukatas. Smiles, everyone was smiling. It's a time of the year again, everyone was gathering, live bands, people wishing happiness and prosperity as they celebrate the meaningful event with their loved ones.

Jeongwoo looks downwards to see the hands that seem to be created just to perfectly fit on his hand, only his hand. He looks up and met his eyes once more.

Years ago, he was screaming. His head was drowning in a deep ocean until one day when he tried so hard freeing himself from suffocation coming from the pressure of the deep water, he found a small ray of light. A small light that brings hope. A small light that made him realized that even on the deepest sea, will set.

Smiling, Jeongwoo holds Haruto's hand tighter, later pulled him in, and allow themselves to get lost with the crowd.

'Are you happy?' Haruto asked in the middle of their raving to the song 'Teenager Forever' by his favorite band.

He stares at Jeongwoo and leaned closer to him 'Later, this will be in your dreams. Our hands intertwined, my eyes admiring you. The people getting lost in the music, if nightmares still come, I'll kiss them all away and replace it again with everything that's happening now' With a dreamy eye, he added 'I love you; you are loved. Always'

While listening to the music, feeling his hand intertwined with the man he loved, Jeongwoo thought 'If I knew it all then, would I do it again? If they knew what they said would go straight through my head. What would they say instead?'

Years ago, he was on the verge of giving up. Jeongwoo closes his eyes while side hugging Haruto. Feeling the music. Feeling the laughter. He can't say it completely vanished. But he's holding on. With the man he loves and finding new things to immerse himself with.

'Maybe they're right, it's never healthy to consume yourself too much into thinking what's going on with an adult mind. If you can't understand them, it's because you're not them' smiling on his thoughts, Jeongwoo focused his attention again on the band.

It won't all be butterflies and unicorns of course, but at least in this chapter of his life, he already has a hand to hold and help him keep sane. Because being with someone important in your life in your most vulnerable times is everything we ever wanted, right?

~ ♡ END