being his full time assistant is already hard enough, but what happens when you throw a relationship in there, now it's even more complicated than it ever was. especially when there's already tension between y'all.
"would you get your god damn phone and turn it off?" i hear my boyfriend say while he is pushing and nudging at me.
my alarm was going off and i was deep in sleep and i didn't even realize it was going off. i quickly tuned it off not to make jack any more made than he already was.
i make my way to my bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day, so i can leave by 6 am and get to kells house.
as i was started washing my hair i kind of just went into a day dream. wishing this wasn't my life anymore. looking down at my whole body seeing bruises left all around it, all spread out. but it seems to be all on the parts that could be covered up with clothing. jack was smart i guess you could say. he never hit me where it could be seen, we have always seemed like a picture perfect couple. and we were up until eight months into our relationship. everything started going down hill, he started to blame me for everything. his words would hurt but would never hurt as bad as the physical pain he caused me. it seemed like after ever beat down and harsh words i would go through a new side of him would come out, the nice one apologizing to me for what he did, promising he would never do it again. but i guess his promises are always made to be broken.
after turning off my shower water and stepping out into my towel, i make my way to my closet quietly to pick out clothes to wear for the rest of the day.
i finally found something that was cute, but not found slutty in the eyes of my boyfriend.
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after putting my outfit on, i start time gather my things to leave the house. marking off a mental checklist in my head to make sure i have everything.
keys, yes phone, yes purse, yes coffee, yes
making sure i have everything i walk out my door and lock it once i'm out and head to my car. once i'm in my car i play my music.
I've been holding my breath I've been counting to ten Over something you said I've been holding back tears While you're throwing back beers I'm alone in bed
a song that i have never related to more. most of the time i won't see jack untill the night time, and thats when it tends to te worst because he's always coming home drunk or sitting in our living room getting drunk, and i can't do anything about it because every time i said something things tend to never go in my favor. the worst part is not being able to tell anyone. i don't know how anyone would react, i mean what if i lose my job over this.
sometimes it just feels like i'm fighting the same battle every day, wondering when am i going to give up, or better yet when am i ever going to be able to leave.
So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know 'Cause you remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay Feels like a lifetime Just tryna get by While we're dying inside I've done a lot of things wrong Loving you being one But I can't move on
