Waking Up Alone (L.S)

I Was Happiest When I Was With You

"Letting go of someone you love is the rarest and truest form of love itself. To stay together needs attachment and understanding. But to stay apart no matter how hard it is and wish for their happiness needs love."

"We were too young Harry, we didn't know better," Louis and Harry have been pouring their hearts out to each other for the past few hours. It's currently four in the morning and they're now sitting in the kitchen where they used to have most of their heart to hearts. "It's been two years, I wish we could have seen how good we had it together. There was so much pressure on both of us and on the band. We had to be perfect, we had to do what we had to do, Haz."

Green eyes meet blue. "I wasn't too young to know how much I loved you. Everyone could see it." This conversation is what Louis has been waiting for, he didn't know if they'd ever get here.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you," Louis says as he leans over the table to brush his thumb against Harry's cheek, "But I had to let you go so you could be happy."

"But Lou, don't you get it? I was happiest when I was with you," Harry manages to choke out, "I just wanted you to fight for me; for us. If you really loved me, you wouldn't have left me behind."

Tears start welling up in Louis' eyes as Harry speaks. Louis feels the shattered pieces of his heart puncturing his chest with those words as Harry continues, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't have stayed with her when I needed you most. If you loved me, you would have been here, in our home, together, when I needed you because that's what boyfriends are supposed to do."

And wow, that hurts, but Harry just keeps going. "You wouldn't stand up for us! You wouldn't tell them to fuck off and that you didn't want to be in LA with her while I was at home all alone struggling to breathe. You wouldn't be with the bitch that ruined our relationship! You would be here with me while my brain was telling me I'm better off not breathing."

Louis sucks in a harsh breath, and rubs at his red eyes. "I did fight for you, I promise I did. I did as much as I could, but legally my hands were tied." Louis moves to stand up from the kitchen table, "I even hired a lawyer. We looked through the contracts we signed, but there was literally nothing more I could have done, love, I'm so sorry."

"What's the worst thing that could have happened if we broke some stupid contract?" Harry asks, voice barely above a whisper, as he stands up as well. His green eyes are rimmed with red due to his tears; Louis can see how heartbroken he still is over this.

All Louis wants to do is wrap him up in his arms, kiss the side of his head, and promise everything will be okay, but Harry's not his anymore. Louis can't just comfort him like that now.

"Haz, if we broke the contracts, we would have both been kicked out of the band. I couldn't let that happen to you. This band was your whole life, you've wanted this forever."

"Louis, you were my whole life. And don't you see how well I'm doing solo? I would have been fine with being kicked out of the band. The fans would have understood, they would have supported us no matter what and you know that. I just wanted to be able to be with you without having to hide who I am."

"Well I'm glad you're doing fine by yourself Mr. Big Shot," Louis says, rolling his eyes. It comes out a bit more bitter than intended, but fuck it, Harry's the one saying Louis left him because he didn't care, but Louis loved him too much to have left him behind. He never meant to hurt Harry. He only did what he did to try and save Harry's career. It was the hardest decision of his life, he thought he made the right choice, but apparently not.

"I thought you were supposed to be apologizing to me, not starting a fight." Harry says, his voice sounding defeated.

"Well maybe I wouldn't be starting a fight if you weren't being such a bitch about it and let me explain myself." Louis says, starting to get heated. Both him and Harry have always been stubborn, and when they were still together, they fought all the time because of it. Because neither of them could accept when they were in the wrong. And apparently, Louis is supposed to apologize for trying to save Harry's career.