18 (Larry Stylinson Fanfic)

Chapter 2

As I walked into the room I looked over at Harry. "I don't understand why you're upset." 

He looked at me with his big green eyes. "Not upset." he said in a monotone voice. "Why would you think that?"

I opened my mouth to say something but then decided against it. In complete honesty, arguing with him drains me. Espeically recently. He's been so insistant that he knows what's right and what's best, but I think he's doing it just to keep me away from him. 

He's been distant a lot recently but I've been doing my best to just ignore it. To ignore everything that happened recently. 

"Look, it was just a fling." His words dragged me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him slightly confused. 

"What?" I cocked my head to the side as he took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He lit it as he spoke, keeping his eyes directed away from me. 

"What happened at the beginning of tour. It was a fling. That's it. I was completely shitfaced and you were the only person around. You know how it goes." I watched his lips as he spoke, blowing out the smoke. 

I honestly didn't even know how to respond to him. Every word hurt like a knife but I've gotten used to just ignoring it as much as I could. I wasn't able to take it this time. I started to feel angry and I had no idea where it was all coming from. 

I got up and stood in front of where he was sitting. "Look, I don't even give a shit anymore, Styles." He looked up at me surprised but didnt say anything. I took a shaky breath, tearing up slightly and kept speaking.

"If you want to keep acting delusional, that's fine. Just don't let it mess you up on camera or on stage and we'll be fine. As for what happened between us, maybe you should get over yourself. You think that meant anything to me? You're not the only one who can have flings, Styles." 

I took the cigarette out of his hand and placed it between my lips. "If it was only a fling to you, don't you think you would have just accepted the fact that I don't care either way? I mean you don't see me bringing it up evere fucking five minutes." 

I glared at him and blew out the smoke. "It's not my fault that you're confused or whatever, but I would appreciate it if you would stop taking your anger out on me. I'm not your punching bag and neither are the rest of the boys." 

I walked out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind me. I walked down the hall and went back into the elevator, still smoking. 

I honestly don't even know what got into me. I guess I was just tired of being reminded that what we had that night was completely meaningless. 

It pissed me off even more though, that we both know there were times where he wasn't drunk but that never stopped him from kissing me or coming to me when he was lonely. 

I was tired of being played with. I wanted him to care for me the way I care for him. 

I didn't mean some of the things I said. I have feelings for him. I may not know what kind of feelings I have, or how strong they are, but I liked what we had. I feel safe with him. I knew I could always go to him, but recently he's been distancing himself. I don't understand it and neither do the rest of the boys. 

I walked into the elevator and went back into the lobby. I quickly put the cigarette out and looked for a  bar in the hotel. 

I just needed to get my mind off of Harry. He's been acting so bipolar that it's starting to give me whiplash. 

I walk into the bar and sat down at a table. As I order something to drink I can't stop thinking about him. 

The nights I've spent, wasted, with him kept replaying in my head. The worst part was that I didn't even regret it. Every second I spent with him made me feel alive. 

It didn't matter if it was spent fighting, or even just in silence. It was still something and I was still close to him, even if he wanted to be nowhere near me. 

I decided to not check my phone because I didn't want to answer any of the boy's questions. I wasn't ready to go back and face everyone. 

I knew I should probably say something to Harry and apologize, but right now I just needed a drink to get my mind off of things. Off of him.  

The worst part is that I knew at this point, he had control of everything. I was completely powerless and he knew it.