No Longer

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We resumed on looking for a decent place to stay after eating. Buti na lang din talaga sila ang sinama ko at hindi si Sheena. Blessing in disguise pa yata ang pagiging busy nya today. Baka kasi kung sya ang kasama ko kung saan pa kami mapadpad.

After few more hours, we finally found the one. It was a small unit but it was good for three people. Two rooms, one kitchen, two restrooms, one living room. It was nice and not that pricey. Plus the landlady was nice.

"Thank you for accompanying me today. Babawi talaga ako sa inyo. Tawag lang kayo if you need me ha," sabi ko matapos naming makipag-deal sa landlady.

"No worries. Ikaw pa," sagot ni Mark.

"We're here for you, ate Ae. What friends are for diba?" he said and smiled.

Ang cute talaga nila.

"Anyways, alam na ba 'to ni kuya Justin?"

"Ayun nga, kung pwede sana, secret muna. Please," pakiusap ko.

"But you're leaving tomorrow! And he didn't know?"

"I have my reasons, Mark," I sighed.

"Okay, fine. But really, you should tell him."

"I will, maybe when the is–" Donny cut me off.

"Still about ate Mia?" he asked.

"It's not just about Mia. It's also me trying to stand on my own."

"Okay. Just don't hesitate to call us again when you need our help, okay? We're happy to help you," Mark said.

It really touched me. They're really like my own brothers.

"Saka miss ka na raw po nila, lalo na sina Andy at Cholo," dagdag ni Donny.

"Don't worry, pagkalipat ko, ipagluluto ko kayo."

After few more chitchats, umuwi na rin sila. They were really a big help.

🍑🍒

I was packing my things when kuya Ares arrived.

"Hey, kuya."

"Why are you packing?" he asked, looking so confused.

"I texted you earlier, right? Nakahanap na kasi ako ng malilipatan natin. And pwede na tayong lumipat agad sa isang araw," paliwanag ko.

"Have you talked to Justin?"

Bakit ba ganyan lagi tanong nila? Do I really need Justin's approval or what? He's not yet my boyfriend but it felt like every decision I'll make should go through him. I mean, I understand that we're living in his unit, but it's not like we forced ourselves into him. Hays.

"I'll talk to him later, kuya. Don't worry, if you don't want to go with me, it's fine."

"Of course, I'd go with you. Kapatid kita, Ae. It was just, kaibigan ko rin si Justin. And I know he loves you. A little heads up won't hurt."

"Okay, kuya."

"Mag-aayos na rin muna ako ng gamit. May dala akong pagkain. Kung gutom ka, ipainit mo na lang," sabi nya bago tuluyang lumabas ng kwarto ko.

Moments later, dumating na rin Justin. He looked so tired at first, but when he saw me, he smiled and his cute dimples showed up.
He went to me and hugged me. He's such a hug monster.

"I missed you," he said and I felt him kissing the tip of my head.

"Magkasama lang kaya tayo kanina," paalala ko sa kanya.

"Yeah, but can you blame me? Kung pwede lang 24/7 tayo magkasama," pagmamaktol nya.

"Ewan ko sa'yo. Anyways," buwelo ko.

He just looked at me with curious eyes.

"Tristan already approved my resignation. May job interview na rin ako sa susunod. Nakahanap na rin ako ng lilipatan namin ni kuya. Pwede na kaming lumipat sa isang araw," dire-diretso kong sabi.

"What did you just say? Lilipat kayo?" his expression tells a lot. He was shocked and hurt.

"Yep. It's high time na lumipat na kami. Pareho kaming may ipon na and we can't live with you forever," I said without breaking eye contact with him for him to know that I'm dead serious with this.

"I know. But you should've talked to me first so I can help you find your own place," he argued back. He looked really hurt.

"I don't need your help, Justin. Kaya ko naman. Besides, you're busy."

"You know I can always make time for you," he looked away.

"But I don't want that. I don't want you to sacrifice everything you've worked hard for just because of me. Saka tinulungan naman ako nina Mark."

He looked really defeated. And I hate to see him like this. I hate myself for doing this to Justin, but I also need this for myself. I was independent before I knew him. And now I'm starting to be very dependent to him, and it's not healthy anymore. Plus the fact that it's affecting his beloved career. I can't be his downfall. I refused to be.

"How does helping you equates to sacrificing the things I've worked hard for? It doesn't make sense," he said very frustrated.

"Listen, Justin. Kahit hindi mo sabihin sa'kin, I know that there are issues about us. And it's not good for your career. Now, your management is doing their best to cover up those issues. Kaya nga may guesting and performance ka together with Mia diba? And it's doing you real good. Ang dami nyong supporters!" I was already panting when I finished.

"Those things don't matter, Aerielle. Mia and I? We're finished years ago. I wouldn't even spare you a look kung may hang ups pa ako sa kanya. But look at me now," he desperately said.

"Look at me," he begged, making me look at him.

"What do you see?" he asked, trying to prove a point.

"Justin," I called his name coz I don't know what to say anymore.

"Hindi pa nga tayo pero iiwan mo na ako," sabi niya.

"I'm not leaving you! I was just–"

"Akala mo ba hindi ko nagpapansin, Ae? You were purposely ignoring me these days."

"I– I'm sorry. I just want the best for you," now I'm sobbing. Gosh, Justin!

"What are those tears for, huh? Iiwan mo rin naman ako diba?"

"I said I won't! But right now, with your words, then I might! I thought you'd understand, Justin."

"Ae, please. I love you. I'll do anything, just tell me. What do you want me to do para hindi mo 'ko iwan?" pagmamakaawa niya. Like me, he's in tears.

Ang kulit naman nya. Sabing lilipat lang naman kami. Kaya dapat talaga hindi ko na lang muna sinabi sa kanya.

I don't even know how we managed to sleep together that night. Nagising na lang ako na nakayakap sa'kin si Justin nang mahigpit. Yung yakap na parang takot na takot syang aalis na lang ako bigla.