-+-
"xingchen?" song lan asked once, leaning on the tree trunk and watching how xingchen dried his outer robe near the fire they put; the aftermath of trying to catch a fish for dinner. "if you knew you still could, would you come back to your master?"
xingchen looked at him briefly before replying, "yes."
song lan hoped the answer would be no, and didn't like how his chest seemed to have clenched for a moment. but xingchen continued, "there are many things she wasn't being honest about. i might have confronted her for a little discussion."
"what was she not being honest about?" song lan asked surprised, sitting down next to xingchen and taking the robe to dry it for him.
xingchen shrugged, "big and little things. for exampled, she didn't say it would snow down the mountain."
song lan heard a tinge of sulking in his tone and smirked; he was still not done being angry about that one snowfight in the mids of blizzard...
xingchen spoke on, "and she said there was evil withing heart that a caring hand couldn't brush away."
"bad people?"
"evil people. those who do bad things because they don't know good. because bad people know they're bad, because they know what's good. evil doesn't. it's actually very sad to be evil."
song lan thought about it, "do you not believe there's evil in this world?"
xingchen smiled, "haven't seen one yet. and i doubt i ever will."
-+-
and he was right; he didn't. because when he finally encountered evil, he could no longer see.
song lan had no energy left inside to drill in the anger and resentment. maybe it was hope that was tuning the rest out. in fact, song lan's body could still react on reflex.
he knew that if he saw face of that godforsaken boy again, he would ruin him. he would chase him down the bits of hell and demand justice, demand answer to the question why. why did you do this to him? why did you do this to me? to her? to them? to yourself?
song lan contemplated the words godforsaken. as the emptiness that followed xue yang's dead body dropping for the last time onto the ground filled song lan up, he began to understand that perhaps this boy was really forsaken by the god. abandoned and mistreated. starved and bound to sin, just because the devil said so.
evil was sad, song lan agreed. but evil would not be forgiven.
he could just hope that in his next lifetime, xue yang would be able to experience good, too. or else, song lan would kill him over and over again until he would. he didn't even know why he would think of that boy with pity. maybe it was because of this place.
ho sue, the ice-soul city. it truly was a forest, though.
carrying limp body of the most important person in his life, song lan moved counting each step. the fireflies danced around him like snowflakes, illuminating the white of their skins.
there were little animals making quiet noises in the bushes. once, he even saw a tiny glimmering bird flying from one willow to another.
the atmosphere was mystic, and the air carried a distant smell of woods and ground after rain clashing with the sweet aroma of flowers.
he then saw something that made him stop. a set of tiny, familiar pink flowers. the same exact one xiao xingchen planted in his little box and loved unconditionally.
song lan called them weeds. xingchen called them liao-er. and the legends called them ladylilies.
that did it for him, basically. song lan smiled, looking down on xingchen's face. funny how we go back to how it started, isn't it?
he kept going ahead. through the swarms of fireflies ghost and little ponds, shimmering rivulets of water cascading down a stone wall. in the middle of it all, he found the lake.
there was only one chance, not more. if he now touched the surface of the water and the lake decided the sin he dragged in was too heavy, there would be no next life after this one. his soul would shatter out of the reincarnation cycle. the story would end in a blink of an eye.
he had to try anyway. because if this didn't work, he didn't want to let himself live anyway.
he carefully laid down xiao xingchen's body at the edge of the lake, kneeling down himself.
originally, only one person could test the lines of the sacred lake. but here came a new revelation; song lan carried two people in one body. as he leaned over the water, he saw xingchen's warm eyes twinkling happily.
they were intertwined by the means of sacrifice one did, and so it was only fair for song lan to pay him back for the gift.
he squeezed xiao xingchen's finger, and without waiting any longer, drew his hand underwater.
for three long seconds nothing happened.
and then, the water erupted. what was once clear blue surface suddenly shimmered in shattered stars, like brocade decorating robes. like liquid silver crusted with sapphire.
the lake came to life in with a little breeze combing through song lan's hair. he smiled.
then, he pulled away and gently leaned over xiao xingchen. he laid their swords and whisks on the ground, and then took off the bandage from xingchen's eyes, revealing familiar face. this time his eyelids were closed. xiao xingchen was sleeping peacefully and there song lan was attempting to wake him up.
xingchen never liked being woken up. he would be grumpy the entire morning afterwards, but it did make him look kind of cute, too.
song lan took him in his arms again, and slowly sunk them both in the lake. then, he pulled them down beneath the surface.
hugging him close, he felt the currents in the lake wrapping protectively around their bodies. the pouch holding xingchen's soul was hidden underneath song lan's robes. as their chests pressed together, it was trapped between the two, and song lan prayed it would finally rest back where it truly belonged.
his eyelids began weighting heavily and he felt himself falling asleep. the currents were still circling close and brushing past his sides. for a moment, he felt a tingling sensation at the place that was once unfortunately pierced by shuanghua's blade.
before his eyes closed, he saw a shimmering light coating the scar on xingchen's neck, and rolling down his cheeks.
then, it all ended.
-+-
when they were traveling around, they once happend to get near the jin sect's territory. it was where they first encountered a boy in yellow robes that later made a massive turn in their lives. for the worse.
but it no longer mattered.
the sins of the past were long forgotten. not because it served no good in the present, or because they decided to ignore it, or worse to forgive it whatsoever.
it was just because it simply didn't matter.
the scar was made, sure.
but as the sun kept on setting and rising, it was bound to fade away.
just like this.
