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The following morning, Renjun woke up a little earlier than usual. He rubbed his eyes and glared at the clock, the device reading half seven.
"Ugh," he groaned, rolling over on his other side to see if Jaemin was still asleep, but being shocked to find an empty bed.
He glided his hand over the space the blonde should've been on, noticing it was still warm like Jaemin had only just gotten up.
"Where has that guy gone?" He wondered to himself, sliding his legs over the mattress and suddenly recalling the events of the night prior.
All that Jeno had seen, all that he and Jaemin had done. One night had complicated everything so badly. Renjun massaged his temples in thought as the memory of the youngest hugging him as he fell asleep swept over his mind.
What am I doing? He wondered, terrified of what was happening to them. How would everyone react to a relationship as weird as their's, if all three started dating? It was too bizarre, wasn't it?
He was only now getting his sexuality in the open, Sicheng having guessed ages back apparently. Mark too had known as it seemed, as well as the long term crush Renjun had been baring alone on the deaf boy.
He got up, unsteady on his legs at first, though quickly stretching and wandering out into the kitchen.
His eyes immediately found the missing blonde standing at the large window located behind the dining table. He had his forehead pressed against the glass, gazing at his sore finger.
Renjun felt bad.
He knew he was being mean. He knew Jaemin was only getting hurt the more he denied him, and he knew he needed to stop pushing the male away, and give him a chance. The Chinese had been so blinded by Jeno, he couldn't see the feelings the youngest had, and he felt like a hypocrite now.
Calling Jeno oblivious wasn't fair when he himself was as blind as a bat.
Wandering up to Jaemin, Renjun stood alongside him, looking out the window at the scenery outside. The early pedestrians were out on walks before work and whatnot.
"Hey," the older finally sighed, awkwardly glancing up at the taller who was still finicking with the bandage around his finger.
"Hey...."
Renjun took a deep breath, trying to work out in his head what the hell he was supposed to say. This was so hard. And even though he knew the boy beside him liked him, it was still difficult.
"Jaemin.....I'm sorry. I know I've been an asshole to you lately, and ignorant, and selfish. Every time we argue, I just brush it under the mat and move on like they never happened. But they do happen. I never apologise for them either....."
The blonde glanced at him, rather surprised by the other's words. Renjun usually acted a lot tougher than this.
He started to sign since it was harder to talk after waking up in the mornings. "I just don't know why you won't believe me..."
"I guess I didn't want to believe you, if I'm being honest."
"I know you like Jeno. Just say that to me, reject me. Don't constantly step around what I'm trying to tell you. It's hard to deal with."
"But I don't want to reject you," Renjun whined, "That means you'll try to move on, and I'm too selfish to let you. I'm too scared to like more than one person. The guy I liked for pretty much my whole childhood didn't feel the same....not ever. Liking two people means the possible ending will be twice as painful."
"Then we just won't break up. There are three of us, so we can dilute our concentrated time together."
"That's a little optimistic," Renjun chuckled, pressing his hand against the glass. "What if.....what if Jeno just doesn't like us like this? I mean, he's never been exposed to love before, and I know he's trying to figure it out.....but what if he realises that we're just good friends to him?"
"Then it'll be just you and I, won't it?" Jaemin winked cheekily, earning a kick to the ankle.
"So confident."
Both returned their sights to the world outside again. Something felt much more relaxed about how they were speaking with each other now. Like they had been at the very beginning, but even better.
Jaemin didn't know what this meant. What was Renjun even trying to tell him?
"Here, pass me your hand," the Chinese murmured softly, extending his hand.
Jaemin looked at him like he had grown another head. "Why?"
"Just do it."
The blonde did as he was told and allowed the older to hold the hand with the sore finger. Renjun examined it first, unwinding the bandage and feeling relieved to see the injury was healing nicely.
"I never kissed it better, did I?" He whispered, making Jaemin arch his brow.
The shorter brought the hand to his face and gently pressed a chaste kiss to the exposed injury. Jaemin watched in awe as the older slid his cheek into his hand, smiling up at him.
"You're hands are way bigger than mine.....and warmer."
The younger glided his thumb over his cheek, wondering if this was Renjun's shy way of saying 'yes'. Perhaps he was trying to let him know that he was giving him a chance.
The blonde's heart was racing so fast, unable to take seeing such a cute side of the other. Renjun too was blushing as he took a tentative step back.
"I should go and make some breakfast."
"It's Jeno's turn though."
"Yeah, well, he can take a break," the older chuckled, wandering off to the kitchen again and getting ready to cook. "Also, grab the first aid kit. I'll re-bandage that finger."
Jaemin smiled warmly, clutching his hand to his chest and sighing softly.
