Tales of a Heroic Redditor

Beginning 100

On a bright and sunny morning, a very handsome and strong redditor woke up to the beautiful morning chirps of the birds. He felt well rested and ready to start the day. Actually, he stayed up all night browsing r/dankmemes and praying to his shrine dedicated to Keanu Reeves.

Anyhow, he knew exactly what he would be doing today. He had his whole schedule planned out for the day- from 8:00 AM-2:00 PM, he would browse r/memes and comment on them in hopes he would get reddit gold. From 2:00 PM-3:00 PM, he would approach children getting out of school and ask if they liked Fortnite. If they said yes, he would punt them and then write about it on r/justiceserved. Then, for the rest of the day, he would play Minecraft with mods installed to make mobs look like hot girls.

Redditor knew he had a productive day planned ahead of him, so he was quick to get started.

As he struggled to get out of his own bed due to his overpowering weight(from muscles, obviously), Redditor realized he needed something to eat before he started off. Since he needed energy, of course.

He had used up almost the last of his energy to get out of bed before he yelled out with all of his might,
"MOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If there was one thing the redditor was good at it was shouting. He would not be surprised if he were the modern day Dragonborn.

His mom quickly rushed down the stairs into the basement to see Redditor barely reaching to fold his chubby arms and lightly tapping his foot.
"The chicken tendies, mother?"
(I know thats more of a 4chan stereotype but whatever)
"O-oh, I'm so sorry dear. I will make them right away."
"And do NOT forget the szechuan sauce this time. You know the consequences if you do."

Redditor's mother started trembling with fear and did a light nod before going back upstairs to contemplate dying.

Redditor sat down in his $399 gaming chair that was obviously from PewDiePie, his all time favorite entertainer next to CallMeCarson. He logged onto his $2000 gaming pc with his rainbow keyboard and creeper mousepad. Redditor loved having the pride of knowing that he will never be a normie with a setup like this. Redditor instantly logged onto Reddit and checked his Reddit karma.
"Hmph. Only 5,000 karma overnight. I need to up my game."

Redditor's natural instincts kicked in and he went through the subreddits, browsing stolen memes with reaction images on them and commenting "ok boomer" to anybody who doesn't share his opinion. The redditor hoped to get up to 900,000 karma by the end of the day. He calculated each of his comments' probability of getting a lot of likes and made a few posts with Marvel reaction images in them which were bound to get some likes.
Redditor was quick, going from one topic to another. He was a natural when he came to this. A true master. If only you could get payed to be a lose-an experienced reddit user.

With that being said, Redditor's schedule was going smoothly so far. Everything felt the same as usual, with the only slight change in topics he intelligently discusses on subreddits. It was only a while before his focused reddit browsing was interrupted by something. Redditor turned around furiously to discover what interrupted him, only to be met with great shock.....