Alexithymia.

415 45 4
                                    

Chanyeol shot up in bed. He panted, thick beads of sweat streaking down his misted brow.
Trying to catch his breath, he ran a moist palm over his face. The blonde squinted his eyes at the winter-morning glare, beaming through his window, remaining askew from the night prior.

Last night... it definitely wasn't a dream, and Chanyeol didn't really know how to feel about that. It was no surprise to him when he realised that he was now an accomplice to the uncatchable killer; the very killer that was feared by the citizens of the world like a merciless pandemic. It was quite a title.

He let out a heavy sigh, rising to his feet. It was time that he greatly improved his acting. The police will undoubtedly interrogate the remaining street for information, well, those who Baekhyun had left alive last night...

It was clear that Baekhyun had just been trying to shrug him off, after Mr Choi died, so he could pick up the pace. It was what he did after all; consistently following an obvious pattern, yet still remaining so mysterious... it was almost impossible, and yet, to Chanyeol, it was like living in a parallel universe, nothing these days ever felt real. But it was. And that was the unbearable truth.

A startling knock crashed against the far door, making Chanyeol comically jump. Massaging his forehead, he scolded himself, didn't he just say the police would come soon? But he could have never predicted this soon...

Pushing out a puff of air, he jogged towards the door, hoping a raise in heartbeat would raise his confidence somewhat. Because now, he needed to protect Baekhyun, and that meant double thinking his every move, reciting every syllable and evading anything that would lead to suspicion.

The door felt oddly warm to the touch, and yet Chanyeol ignored it, focusing on creating the most innocent expression that he could muster.

The lock tinkled, the handle squeaked and the hinges whined, straining with it's only purpose, opening in full.

"Officer, goo-" Chanyeol started, trailing off in shock as he faced someone very different.

"Chanyeol..." Kyungsoo smiled, a relieved sigh escaping through his nose as he looked over the taller's, very much alive, appearance.

The former stared back with wide eyes and a lolling mouth, his mind catching up, spurring him into movement. He pulled back, beckoning the raven inside, speechless.

How dumb could he be? He thought, running a hand through his hair in anguish when Kyungsoo had finally walked inside, turning away from view.

With all those reminders, every time they had spoken, every time he had sworn to remember... and he had still forgotten.

"I hope you remember why I'm here, Chan!" Kyungsoo interrupted, grinning over at him.

Chanyeol nodded, understanding. "I do. However, there is something I want to know..." he proposed, looking over at him with an analysing eye.

Kyungsoo shivered under his stare, oddly scared. "W-What is it, man? You can ask me anything..." he replied, reaching up to fiddle with his nape.

"Why are you so happy?" Chanyeol asked, allowing a small smile to grace his face, instantly causing the raven to drop his shoulders, relieved.

The latter giggled, walking up to him, closing the distance between them both. "I know that you're safe now... but... you need to understand that last night... Jongin and I... we were scared." He informed, his voice unsteady and weak.

Shocked, Chanyeol grabbed Kyungsoo's arm and pulled him into a heartfelt embrace. "I-I'm sorry, Kyungsoo... I didn't mean to scare you both... I'm such a shit friend." He lied, smirking to himself as he looked over the raven's head.

As expected, Kyungsoo pulled back, hastily shaking his head from side to side. Chanyeol quickly changed to a regretful frown, internally praising himself.

A rehearsal never hurt anyone.

"No, no, please don't say that, Channie. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up... you have enough on your mind to worry about with that psycho on the loose." Kyungsoo apologised, drawing back and walking towards Chanyeol's ajar bedroom door.

The blonde's eye twitched.
There it was, uttered from an unsuspecting mouth once again. 'Psycho'... an adjective in this case, but it could be used as a noun. If Baekhyun was really a psychopath, then what would that make Chanyeol? A sympathiser?

"Are you going to help, or what?" Yelled Kyungsoo from the other room, causing the the taller to whip his head over in his direction, surprised once more.

He scampered over, catching himself on the doorframe. Infront of him, Kyungsoo had started to reach upward, straining on his tiptoes, to reach the top of the tattered curtain. His back was fully stretched and quiet noises of struggle reached Chanyeol's ears. It was kind of cute.

"What do I need to do?" Chanyeol asked, his voice as soft as he could make it.
"Ah! There's a replacement curtain for you in my bag. I dropped it in front if the couch when you closed the door... It's rolled up, but it's easy to make out what it is. Please go and grab it." Kyungsoo instructed, turning his small head over his shoulder.

Chanyeol nodded, spinning around to exit the room. He had a bag? How come Chanyeol didn't notice? If he was going to take on the cops soon, then he'd better get better at paying attention... if he doesn't, then... no. Focus on what is happening now, not the future.

He needed to stay in the present like his life depended on it. And in retrospect, it kind of did.

The bag wasn't large, yet sufficient to carry rolls of fabric. It was a white gym bag with a cerulean stripe cascading over the material. Not something he thought Kyungsoo would own.

He unzipped it slowly, the zip feeling cheap and worn under his calloused fingertips. The first thing he noticed in the bag was a small name tag, the name 'Kai' scribbled onto the grey with bleeding sharpie.

He chuffed to himself, Chanyeol's previously swept back hair dropping into his eyes, oddly saddened.

Right now, feeling sad, regretful and guilty was something he couldn't do. Killing that humane feeling, he reached into the bag, pulling out the roll of nice quality, cream cloth.

He stomped to his feet, slightly agitated at himself, making quick work of jogging back to the bedroom, back to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo grinned at him from the doorway, reaching out a hand. In that very moment things seemed to slow down. It was then that Chanyeol noticed that the suffocating shadows seemed to hide from the raven, the white light, piercing through the windows, lit up his pale face, making him sparkle. The blonde couldn't help but to pause for a moment and stare.
He was so lucky to have Kyungsoo as a friend. He was kind, pure, loving and came from a good upbringing, all what Chanyeol was not...

But suddenly, he was snapped out of the daze, the room dimming into darkness as a formal knock, once again, rapped at the shallow wood.

The curtains were beginning to raise on the performance of a lifetime.

𝙋𝙎𝙔𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙇𝙊𝙂𝙔 / Chanbaek.Where stories live. Discover now