「✓」𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌.

𝘀𝗶𝘅 - 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗆𝗌

[ 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 ]

i ran as fast as my feet could take until familiar houses came into view, soon enough i was in front of my house.

i stopped running and took a breath. i can't believe that just happened. and i can't believe i kissed back, even for a second because it was wrong.

i admit, i missed johnny, i missed him being in my life but i wouldn't go that far with him anymore.

we are—were just friends. and now i don't know what we are anymore. i don't think he'll settle with being just friends...

i was interrupted from my thoughts as my eyes landed on a familiar black mercedes benz in front of our house.

shit. it's asher's.

after what happened a while ago i can't face him right now. i feel so bad—i feel so dirty.

ever since i met asher he has shown nothing but his kind heart to me. he has never hurt me or forced me to anything. he's always been patient and caring to me. he loves me, my family and friends like his own.

most importantly, we're always there for each other. we understood each other, and he never fails to have time for me, even with our tight schedules.
something johnny never gave me.

i seriously don't know how to explain this to asher. he deserves better, he deserves better than someone who goes kissing her ex.

i took a deep breath as i made my way up our front porch and slowly twisted the door knob,

asher, caleb, and hayley were sitting on the living room with worried looks on their faces, while mom and dad were pacing back and forth in the kitchen, talking on their phones.

hayley noticed me, "THERE SHE IS!" my eight year old sister screamed and came running to me and gave me a hug, she gave me a big smile as well, showing her missing two front teeth.

"where the hell have you been sis? we were worried sick!" my older brother caleb came and joined the hug after he messed my hair.

they released me from their arms and i directed my gaze to the boy who was standing a few feet away from me, his hands in his pocket and his face was painted with relief as soon as he saw that i was back and that i was fine.

i dropped my bag and ran into his arms. i dug my face into the crook of his neck, his arms wrapped around my body, his scent calmed my nerves and his warmth made me feel home.

he is my home.

i started crying softly into his chest, regretting everything that happened between me johnny this morning.

"shhh, hey it's okay, i'm here now." he whispered into my hair as he planted a kiss on my forehead.

"we'll leave you two alone," mom softly said as i heard them all slowly make their way upstairs, giving me and asher some privacy.

i just stayed in his arms sobbing softly, our arms still wrapped on each other's body as his left hand played with my hair, we stayed like that for a few more minutes until i finally stopped crying.

he held my face with both his hands and gave me a small dimply smile, his fingers wiped away my tears, which made me feel worse about what happened this morning.

"i'm-i'm so-sorry, sorry-ash" i struggled to say as more tears escaped my eyes, he sat us down on the couch and held my hands,

"hey, hey baby, it's okay, what happened out there?" he softly asked,

"i got trapped in school last night," i explained, "...with johnny."

"i was scared at first, not because i was trapped in school but because he was there," he kept listening, understanding each word that came out of my mouth.

"but then i decided maybe it's time to set the past aside? so we talked, he said sorry and i forgave him, we finally had closure ash..." i looked into his eyes, he was smiling genuinely, he was happy for me. little did he know...fuck. i can't do this.

"but..." my heartbeat was going crazy, my hands were shaking, my breathing shallowed, i thought about not telling asher but i can't lie to him anymore, he's done nothing but love me. i need to give him the truth.

"this morning before we got out, he kissed me..." i took a deep breath, "and i kissed back."

his gaze dropped. which made my heart sunk.

i cried silently as i stared at the floor, what have i done?