Venus ❀ knj, myg

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Another day on the train, I'm wearing his coat again. I never noticed the pockets on the inside or the soft material. I also never noticed how close Namjoon's stop is to mine.

He walked onto the cart like he's done every day. This time he's holding a lavender colored rose. Who's that for?

Once again he looks at me and smiles. Unlike most days where he gives a little grin, this time it's wide enough that his dimples show. I can't get over how perfect he is. With his gray and black attire, a black mask, and hands in his pockets. How can a regular man have such charm?

He stands straight up, looking around every few minutes. He stands in the same spot every day, always close to me. I don't get how he can stand close to someone like me.

His stop is near. Benches in front of the door and a pillar on the left. He'll go directly down the stairs and after that he'll be gone.

The door opens and instead of leaving he turns to me "for my little rose." He hands me the lavender rose he's been holding. It was for me... I can't help but blush "thank you." My voice is shy and low, I hope he heard me.

I look at the flower in my hand then to the door, he left. The spot where he stands doesn't feel so empty. I look down at it again. Lavender purple with red tips, I didn't notice that. There's a paper wrapped around the stem, "lavender - love at first sight. Red- beauty." He called me his 'little rose', to think I could be compared to a rose.

There's more to the note, "82 XXX XXXX." His number!

—

I'm watching some show, I don't know what it's called. The main character, Lisa, is in a toxic relationship. Kind of reminds me of Taehyung.

He yells at her, complains, and comments on little things. Sometimes he slaps her. Taehyung would do all of that. His words would hurt more than his slaps. He complained about how skinny I am. "Eat more, I don't like fucking a stick," I remember. Any little inconvenience turned to a big argument. He never apologized.

I start to tear up, I hate that I miss him. His few kind words stuck to me more than his slaps and his comments. "You look so pretty," he said that only twice.

When he would grab my waist and hug me without a word. When he ran his hands through my hair the few times we cuddled.

My crying turns to sobbing and I feel lonely. So alone and stupid. I was stupid to think he loved me. I was stupid to think he cared. Those cold eyes never shifted. His rough touch never softened.

Can't someone care for me? Am I undesirable? Am I just too clingy and too skinny? Am I useless like he told me?

I sit wrapped in my blanket. It's dark with the only light being the tv. Tears streaming down my face just like most nights.

My hand wanders to my phone and dials Namjoon's number. Why am I calling him? I talked to him once yet I seek comfort from him. By the time I start to think it over, he picked up.

"Hello?"