Night Changes

Chapter Four

"He's waiting, hides behind a cigarette."

Liam

It has been two weeks since Zelle has confessed about her little crush. Basically, that means that I have been behaving awkwardly around her for two weeks. I would have tried to avoid her but she was our tour manager, seeing her was inevitable.

The lads knew something was up and they made me take Zelle out for lunch. Well, I did not ask her out. How could I ask her out when I knew that she has her eyes on another man?

Earlier that afternoon, Zelle was whining about how she craved for MacDonald's. Which meant that she has to eat MacDonald's with us or she would go batshit crazy. She only whines about her cravings during her time of the month and you would never want to mess with her for that particular week. The other boys seized this opportunity to indirectly force me to have time with her alone. They made up lame excuses about how my sandwiches made their stomaches uneasy.

"Oh. Must be why I'm having my cramps even worse than usual." Zelle joked.

My face paled and I shuddered, remembering to never share my sandwiches with Zelle when she has her period. The uneasy feeling in my chest came back when I thought of Zelle. I breathed from my cigarette and let out an angry puff. Management would kill me if anyone caught me smoking but I could care any less.

I never gave Zelle a chance to tell me who she liked (or loved) but I preferred it that way. It would hurt more to have closure right now. Imagine if she likes one of boys, that would hurt a million times worse. Being too focused on my thoughts, I gasped and dropped my cigarette.

My finger had accidently grazed against the lit up blunt. Without thinking twice, I crushed the blunt with my boot and rubbed my finger to decrease the pain. I let out a sigh when I realised how similar my situation was.

My heart was crushed like the blunt and I hide my feelings and fake a smile to decrease the pain. In the end, my feelings still sting and hurt like my heart. I winced when I stopped rubbing my finger and it started stinging again.

"Hey, have you been waiting long?" I heard Zelle, her voice getting louder as she advanced towards me.

I looked up at Zelle and softly sighed, mustering up the little courage I have left. Nodding at her, I motioned at her to follow me. The walk with to MacDonald's took 20 minutes. I kept my attention on my phone, replying and following fans on Twitter. Meanwhile, Zelle was happily skipping and humming a random tune beside me. The silence was still unsettlingly comfortable, must be the perks of being best friends.

"Thank you and enjoy your meal!" The cashier chirped. I smiled in reply before grabbing the tray and sliding into a empty booth.

I handed Zelle my burger, not having the appetite. Zelle may be small in figure but when she was on her period, she could finish up an entire wedding buffet. She gave me a grateful smile, grinning from ear to ear, which I returned with a small smile.

"Thanks for coming along, Li." Zelle broke the silence. "-thanks for the food too, ofcourse."

She had a bit of mayonnaise on her lips and I had the urge to kiss her to get it off. The same cold feeling in my chest returned, it felt like a punch in the gut but so much more painful. Not trusting myself to speak, I chuckled and nodded at Zelle.

I needed a cigarette. Smoking was my escape, the rush that it gives me when I smoke was a distraction from all my stress. Smoking was my emotional getaway, it was my way of hiding my emotions. Ofcourse, I also smoke because it is addicting. However, everytime I feel down, smoking was my escape.

Feeling Zelle's fingers on mine, I tugged my hand back and quickly stuffed my mouth with some fries. She noticed my sudden reaction and a confused look took over her features. I wished I could say I regretted it but I would rather this than having my heart ripped out again.

"I- I'm going to smoke, I'll be back... in... uh... in a while." I stuttered and rushed out.

Lighting up another cigarette, I awaited before taking a puff from it. I drowned my emotions and thoughts in each puff I took, exhaling out all the pain.

But it doesn't help and I still can't forget her.

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Heyyy. I updated. It's 2.30am and I can't sleep haha. Bye. X)