They Don't Know About Us (A Liam Payne 1D Story)

4. ~Tear Stains & Hospital Visits~ [Self Harm Warning]

Amelia POV:

"Amelia, dinner!" My mum yelled up the stairs. I ignore her and burried myself deeper into my sheets. 

I was feeling guilty. 

For leaving Liam.

For not telling Liam about the cutting.

For not calling Danielle.

For being the worst girlfriend in the history of the world.

For being Amelia; useless, ugly, stupid Amelia.

"Amelia!" My mum yelled again. And once again, I ignored her. 

I'd driven to Manchester, from London, to my mother's house. And here I was, laying in my childhood lady bug sheets and wearing Liam's clothes, even though they were fucking huge on me.

"Not. Hungry." I yelled back down to her. My mother didn't deserve to be ignored. She was being civil, not asking questions and not drinking too much. At least, not yet, anyway.

I knew she hated to have me back home. Sure, my mother loved me, but she wasn't accepting of my career or boyfriend. Er, ex-boyfriend.

When I couldn't take laying down any longer, I stood and examined myself in the mirror. My legs were clothed in Liam's smallest pair of boxers, plaid blue ones from Topman. They were cotton, instead of that rough thin material most boxers were made from, and felt soft. My upper body? Covered in his Batman t-shirt, one that I always wore. It had long sleeves.

Curious, I slid the shirt off, revealing my painfully average boobs and tiny stomach. I didn't have a toned body like Danielle. I was just....thin. I know, a million girls would kill to be thin. But I'd kill to not look like a 12 year old. Sure, I was tall-ish (is 5'7'' tall?) but I was also tiny, if you know what I mean. No bum. No boobs. 

My skin didn't have beautiful color like Danielle, either. I was pale, and fare. I had acne on my forehead, near my hairline. I had a birth mark right on my chin. My nose stuck out too far and my eyes were too small. My hair, was naturally auburn, like my mum's. So many people accused me of dying it. 

I reached for my purse and pulled out Liam's pocket knife, the one he had form scouts. It was sharp and had a red handle, that gleamed in the light. I walked back over in front of the mirror.

"Here's to you, Simon." I muttered, slicing a long glash in my stomach. Simon Cowell didn't like me; he didn't like the way I'd snogged Liam at a club, for the public to see. he didn't like the fact that Danielle was my best friend. He didn't like me.

"Here's to you, Rob." Rob was a tour manager. He was always scheduling things when he knew Liam had off. For example, Liam told Rob last year about our weekend plans, to drive up and see his parents. The boys magically had a show that Saturday night and the trip I'd been longing for was cancelled. He didn't like me much, either.

"Here's to you, Miley." Miley Cyrus had made me look stupid, on national television. You see, it was the Teen Choice Awards and I'd been invited, along with Eleanor. We sat in the row behind the boys and  One Direction had won not one, but two awards (beating Justin Bieber, again, I might add.) Anyway, Eleanor went to hug Louis after they'd accepted the award, and Liam waved me over. I stood, and manovered my way down the row toward him, when a foot flew out in front of me. Miley had fucking tripped me. All cameras had flashed to me, Liam helping me up, my dress caught on my shoes. Miley laughed, apoligized, then called out, "Looks like Liam's little dancer isn't the best on her feet!"

It wasn't a well crafted joke, but still hurt me.

"Here's to you, Danielle." I love my best friend, I do, but she's so perfect. Sure, she gets insecure. And she's spent hours crying to me about never being good enough, even though she's amazing at whatever she sets her mind to. She's so beautiful and talented; it's a tough act to follow. The fans adored her. They all thought I was a back-stabbing bitch.

"And you, Liam." I sunk the blade to my skin again, but a tear dripped down my nose, to my battered stomach, and I cried at the sting of salt water.

When had I started crying? It didn't matter, though, because now I just had tear stains to match my battle scars. I wiped my eyes and slit my forearm...my shoulders....my ankles....my thighs....

Liam. He was my soulmate, I was sure of it. He was the only man who'd ever truely loved me for me. He was the only person I could 1000% trust. I loved him with everything I had, every little thing, and I still wasn't good enough for him.  I never would be. And that thought broke my heart.

What was the point of going on, if Liam would no longer be by my side? Why would I choose suffering over numb bliss? No answer made sense.

And suddenly, my wrists were slit open, extremely deep.

My cuts were gushing at this point. I hadn't even really noticed the pain, I'd been too angry, but now I was feeling it. It was intense, burning there in red bloody lines on my skin. I tried to sit up against my bed, and I barely made it. 

 My hand dropped the blade and my arms felt extremely weak.

"Mum," I tried to yell, but it didn't do anything. My voice came out a shallow whisper. 

My head, it was spinning, my vision was slowly growing blurry. I...I was dying? No, no I didn't want to comit suicide! Liam! I wanted my Liam, my best friend, my savior...my love! 

In my desprete attempt to reach my cell phone, I managed to hear my mother.

"...upstairs....hasn't come out..." She mumbled to someone. I wrestled with my own bloody llimbs to sit up once again.

"...thank you..." I heard footsteps, but black dots had overthrown my vision. The door opened and before I could try and move once again, my visitor shrieked.

"Amelia!" Danielle gasped, dropping down next to me. I guess Liam had called her, asking about me? My throat was slowly closing, but I managed to take a deep enough breath to speak.

"Help," I managed. Danielle frantically pressed a random towel to my arm and fumbled for her phone, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

She dialed her cell and pressed it to her ear, shaking my shoulder.

"Stay. Awake. Amelia." She said harshly, more out of fear than anger though. I managed a nod, but my vision was getting fuzzier.

"Hello? Yes! My best friend...she cut...way too much....she's bleeding terribly bad! Please, please come help us!" She cried. "Ok...ok...thank you so much." She hung up. 

"Amelia," She said, but her voice was getting furter away. "They have our location, they're coming!" She said quickly. 

"I...can't...." I managed.

"You can't? You can't what?!" She demanded, crying heavily. I shook my head, her voice drifting away. My eyes fluttered closed. The last thing I heard was Danielle shrieking for my mother and sirens blaring in the distance.