Finally Free

Chapter 5

Hi everyone! I recommend reading the past chapters cause I'm sure none of you remoember what happened in the book so far. It's been MONTHS since the last update and I'm sorry, it's been a rough year (not news lmao).

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2011

"Perrie!"

Oh shit. She's found me. Dammit.

I start shuffling my hands around my bag for no reason other than trying to find a way to open up the ground under my feet.

Why do we always find all kinds of useless things in our bags but never what we're actually searching for?

I quickly take my mascara and pretend to be finishing with applying it and act confused when she doesn't look through the act.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I flinch at the tone of my mom's voice as it echoes off the bathroom walls, making not only me but two other girls in the bathroom flinch. I swear to god if she embarrasses me in front of anyone in this place I'm walking home, I don't care.

"They're starting soon, you don't have time for mirrors at this point!" She stomps over and snatches the mascara from my hands and throws it in the bag. I stay where I am and don't dare to move as I see the two girls pack up their things and leave, whispering to each other.

I roll my eyes, frustrated with my mom for breaking the only rule I had about this deal, which is don't do anything to embarrass me because none of my friends know I'm here and I would like to keep it that way.

"Mom! The rule?" I exaggerate my expression and hand movements to prove my point to which she rolls her eyes and sends me the mom stance.

You know the one; her arms crossed over her chest as she's holding a hem of her sweater in each hand, her eyebrows raised as she's waiting for an explanation - body language that needs no words. You know you're fucked, she doesn't need to tell you.

"Hey mom!" I chirp, my voice too high to sound convincing "I was just finishing in here, I just felt like I look like I was dead five minutes ago so I just came here to apply some mascara-"

"Oh shut up, I know what you're doing." She sighs and unfolds her arms from her chest to put her hands on my shoulders and her voice softens as she asks, "Why are you still freaking out about this? Your audition went great, I thought you'd be encouraged by that!"

I let out a long sigh, frustrated with myself because I honestly don't know the answer.

"I- I don't know, I'm even more scared than I was at the auditions. There's a lot more people here than before and what if this doesn't go well and someone I know is here?"

"Perrie-"

"I know you think it's stupid but there's a reason I haven't told any of my friends about this. I don't want to embarrass myself and then go home and have everyone know about it."

The only reason I'm here is because mom promised me an iPhone if I go. I know I can't win this thing, there was thousands of people at the auditions, I'm at peace with the fact that I'm gonna be back in South Shields soon.

When I tell them that, my parens' reaction is always "So what? You don't have to win! Just go for the experience!"

I agree with that. But everyone else in my town don't. In South Shields you'd be the subject of public humiliation even if you ended up the second. That's loser-like for them as well. I just don't feel like willingly turning myself into the main topic of gossip.