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CHAPTER SIXTEEN, TRACK SIXTEEN "takin' medicine to fix all of the damage, my anxiety the size of a planet" —— NARRATIVE
righteous juice wrld 0:42────I─────3:22 ↺͏͏ ◁◁͏͏ ll ▷▷ ⋮≡
to do or not to do? that was the main question of natalias thoughts. natalia was spending her night at la jolla beach in san diego, california. this is what she missed most, being able to be only minutes away from the beach from her college dorm. the beach was her thinking place.
the waves were lit with a glowing neon blue color. they were called bioluminescent waves and they were one of the many beauties of nature. these waves only came when there's a full red tide, so it was a rare sight to see.
surfers were riding the waves, their friends or other fellow surfers recording. riding bioluminescent waves can be dangerous, but the surfers always lived on the wild side. and chances of the bioluminescent harming them were low, but they weren't zero. what's fun if you aren't living on the edge?
"this is beautiful." alejandro gasped, wrapping a blanket around natalia as he took a seat next to her. natalia nodded and stared at the waves, wrapping the blanket around her tighter. though it was summer, the summer breeze at night always felt cold to her. she loved it, but she preferred to keep warm.
"they teach you about this in marine biology. it only comes when there's a full red tide, or in simpler terms, the plankton rise to surface." natalia explained to alejandro, alejandro taking in the information. he probably wasn't going to remember what these waves were called, or what natalia was telling him, but they were having a conversation and that's all that mattered.
shortly after the dorm conversation, natalia left alejandro alone in her dorm. being near him was too much for her, especially with the new information she received about ezequiel. she needed to be alone and she needed to clear her head. what better way to do it than spending the rest of the day and all of her night on the beach?
the glowing waves were a surprise to her, she didn't know there was a red tide. but she doesn't regret coming out one bit. it was such a beautiful and pleasant surprise.
"how did you know where i was?" natalia asked, not taking her eyes off of the waves.
"you never stopped sharing your location with me." alejandro softly chuckled, a small smile forming on natalias face. that's one thing neither of them did. neither of them stopped sharing their location with one another.
she could hear the surfers and their friends laughing as they came to shore from riding the waves, a few of them cheering as other fellow surfers completed the wave. people were shouting, others snapping pictures, even videos of the waves. someone even went as far as coming out with a drone. those pictures and videos were going to be absolutely gorgeous from a birds eye view.
"this is my first night being sober since everything happened. i thought it was going to be hard, but i feel so at ease." natalia mumbled, looking at her feet in disappointment. she wasn't one for using drugs or alcohol to cope with her problems but she didn't know what clicked in her this time. maybe it was because she was overly embarrassed and didn't want to think about everything, or maybe it was because the one person she used to trust the most outed her to not just sierra but their whole friend group. no matter how mad she was at alejandro, she would never do that to him.
"nat.." alejandros voice trailed off.
"if you're gonna bring up anything, please don't. i'm tired of fighting with you." natalia sighed, telling him that for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. she turned her head to look at alejandro for the first time the entire night.
"do you wanna grab something to eat?" alejandro asked, looking at her as she turned away. he studied her face to see if he could get a reaction from her, but she still showed no emotion whatsoever.
"not hungry." natalia shook her head. it was the truth. she wasn't hungry, but the only reason is because her body already adapted to her not eating.
"when was the last time you ate? or had anything to drink other than alcohol?" alejandro asked, checking his phone to see what diners were open. it was one in the morning and not very many would be open unless it was denny's. and alejandro hated denny's.
"yesterday." natalia lied. "ate some oatmeal."
"you don't even like oatmeal." alejandro rolled his eyes, handing his hand out for natalia to take. natalia looked at it and shook her head. but alejandro grabbed her hand and pulled her up anyways.
"we can go get breakfast tomorrow, i just wanna stay and listen to the waves." natalia sat back down, fixing the blanket so that it covered her completely. alejandro sighed. he was hungry and wanted to eat, but he didn't want to leave natalia alone. he sat down next to her again.
"you should unblock everyone. i'm sure they would love to hear from you, especially alvaro." alejandro suggested. natalia shook her head and the feeling of shame ran over her. instead of natalia asking about him like she wanted to, she just kept quiet.
alvaro and catherine were the two who blew her phone up constantly, trying to get her to talk to them or to at least talk to someone. the couple cared about their friend dearly, and it concerned alvaro when natalia cut off all communication with the entire group. it wasn't like her.
alejandro kept trying to talk to natalia to get her mind off of everything that was going on, but he constantly found himself apologizing for his actions. natalia would dismiss his apologies and tell him that it was okay, but alejandro knew she was bullshitting him.
after alejandro finally stopped trying to justify his actions, the two sat in silence as they watched the neon blue waves crash into shore. the sound of the waves crashing was so soothing to both of them. they both needed a night like this, a night where they could join nature without the drugs and clear their minds.
becoming one with nature when it felt like everyone was against you was everything. even though natalia felt like everyone was angry at her, she knew that if they didn't want anything to do with her after everything blows over, she can still come back to the beach and always get her peace of mind back. this was her safe haven.
╔═.✵.══════════╗ lyss' personal lyrics! ╚══════════.✵.═╝
the bioluminescent waves are a real thing and if you're anywhere near san diego or one of the coasts the red tide occurred then i highly recommend visiting! take precautions though, social distancing and wear your mask if you do go!
