Missing Peices (Raura)-editing

Chapter 1: The Letter from Three Years Ago

Riker's POV~

It's been about 3 years since Ross left us. Wether or not I've admitted it out loud I have been worried about him. The sweet and funny Ross that could make anyone smile just by looking at him or could make you want to punch him the face out of sheer annoyance, is now gone. He clearly planned his whole escape because it's like he's disapperaed from the planet.I can;t stand the thought of him sitting in his room thinking about how much he hated all of us. He left us so heartbroken and worried that we didn't even dare go into his room or stand the thought of thinking of him.

I think today I'm gonna go in his room. I've probably said about a thousand times. Except every time I try or get to close I panic and walk away. I think it's because I'm afraid of what I'll find in there. I guess I;m still in denial. I guess I'm not sure what I want to find either. I never did spent to much time with him in his later years of him being here. The room has been empty since he left. No one has gone in there. I believe that's out of fear. Fear of what we will find in there. I know my heart will break as soon as I walk through it again. 
It's still early. I tip toed down the hall while everyone was a sleep and stop infront of his room. I hesitatie, touching the handle like I'm scared that something will happen to me if I touch it. Part of me is wishing he were behind these walls just waiting for us to open up the god damn door and that I was dreaming all this up so that none of this had ever happened.
I had to convince myself he was still here, but couldn't stand it. I had to let myself know the truth eventually. The harder part is that he's a living memory. I had to move on but I could never let him go fully. You don't just forget your brother.
I push the door open and walk inside Ross's room. He used to tell me to be brave, even if it was for something others thought to be stupid. Small and personal victories are the best. He used to tell me that. 

It still looks the same but the shelves and bookcases are bare, leaving a thin layer of dust to cover them. His bed is preftectly made and the closet is sparse. It looks like something you would see in movie. Where the girl walks into simply done up and empty room with the sunlight pouring through the open curtains hanging on the window.
I look at his bed side table to find an envelope leaning against a small crystal vase will a single yellow rose in it. Of course yellow. That was his favortie color. The rose petals are wilted at the tips and the leaves are curled at the ends and turning brown, giving it a vintage sort of look.

I walk over to the bedside table and pick up the envelope. It's labled Riker on it. Huh that's werid he didn't leave anything for anyone else. why me? I slip my finger through the opening and pull out a couple pieces of white paper. He left me a letter! I sit on the edge of the bed, stiffly like it's gonna break. I unfold the letter. Each word pains me. Like he's talking to me.

12-17-12   
He wrote this excatly 3 years ago. To the day.

Dear Riker,

I know your wondering why this letter is addressed to you. Well I knew you would be the first to open this. You like to be the first to take a stand. You like to make the statements no matter who big or small. I miss you guys already and wish I didn't have to leave ,but I did. I couldn't stick around anylonger living in place where everyone seems to hate me. It's being alive but everyone seems to think you're a ghost. Like the world is looking at you with its devilish eyes telling you that you're no longer a part of it.
I was always lonley and no matter how hard I tried to get anyone's attention nothing seemed to work. Nobody talked to me for around one year straight.  I don't mean to come across selfish but I was getting horribly bullied in school and at home, the terrible tension just made it worse. Every word said out loud seemed to hang on ice like at any minute it was going to slip and fall to the floor shattering its fragile figure. Like speaking was some kind go curse. I just ended up devoting myself in my own loneliness. 
You guys where even dumb enough sometimes to where I was locked out of the house and slept in the back yard if the back door was locked. Some nights I would lay there wishing I somewhere else and that I had someone who cared about me.
Other nights I would cry myself to sleep. The words hurt, Riker they really did. The pain from the kids at school was almost unbreable. I can't believe I lasted as long as I did. I was depressed but never thought suicide. Ever. I just wanted an out. 
Kids would wonder if I was going die sometimes with all the cuts and bruses. They looked me like they expected me to drop dead, right then and there. Honest to god sometimes it felt like I was. Like I had gone to war with myself and was fighting a battle nobody was going to live through because the fight was bigger than the people fighting. Like only one person was fighting an army. The weapons had more power than people using them.
I know this leaves a sad story but, I'm leaving for the better, to start over. To find a happiness. A chance for a new begging.