Arcadia 11

Twenty-One

Jaebum sat outside the room, his eyes never leaving the door as he quietly waited. He didn't know how much time passed, just wanting to be back in there, supporting his Hyung like he should have been all along.

"Sir," The nurse coming on shift stopped next to him. "I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." She said gently, watching as the young man stared longingly. She had been a nurse for a long time and always knew what that look meant, this young man didn't think he'd see whoever was on the other side of that door again. Giving him what she hoped was a comforting smile.  "You are welcome to come by tomorrow, from what I've gathered, he won't be going anywhere tonight."

Slowly standing, his muscles protesting from staying in the same position for so long, he gave the nurse a tight smile and bowed. "I will leave first." He said, his heart breaking with every step he took from his Hyung's hospital room. His thoughts running wildly with how he'd failed as not only the leader, but a friend. Someone who promised to be there for the other.

"Jaebum-ssi, wait."

Turning around he was met with the kind eyes of Park Jisoo. The man had been the physician for JYP long before the boys had been in training, and would more than likely still be there long after they left. He had helped Jaebum with everything from muscle strains to sleep deprivation, always helping when he was able, giving advice even if it wasn't warranted. Jaebum couldn't be happier that he was chosen in helping care for Mark.

"Listen..." He sighed looking back at Mark's room. "Come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day." He could tell the younger was confused. "Keep coming back until Jackson-ah realizes you should be here too." Looking at the younger he smiled. "You have just as much right to be here. All of you do." He said, patting the younger on the shoulder before leaving.

Watching the man walk away Jaebum smiled, hoping he could prove to Jackson that he was serious, that he did care, that he should be there. But most of all that Mark and his recovery were what really mattered.

By the time he got home everyone was asleep, the only light left on was in the kitchen, typical in their dorm since everyone ended up there at one point in the night. Running a hand down his face he made his way to the couch, sitting down heavily.

"Hyung, are you alright?" A tentative voice asked.

To his left stood Youngjae, his brown hair messy with sleep still in his eyes. He wore a large baggy shirt and a pair of old sweats he'd taken from his dad before he left home the first time. Jaebum couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Jae-ah, what are you doing up?"

The younger shuffled further in the room, taking a seat next to his Hyung and leaning back, their shoulders touching. "I couldn't sleep." He admitted quietly. The relaxed aura disappearing, a chill falling over the room. "Is Mark-hyung really as bad as they're all saying? Will he really be sent back to L.A.?" He asked, his voice growing quieter. Jaebum sighed, his head falling back with an audible 'thunk' as is connected with the couch. His silence providing the answers. The younger nodded, "This isn't your fault." he said. His large eyes watching the elder. It was not hard to see the self loathing thoughts flying through his Hyung's mind.

A humorless chuckle filled the air, before more silence. Both thinking about their Mark-hyung.

"Yes." Jaebum said after a few minutes, his eyes showing just how defeated he felt. "I was so busy making sure you guys don't fall apart, making sure I don't fall apart, I never stopped to think the person I've been relying on needed help too. He told me he was drowning and I ignored it, thinking he could just bounce back and that nothing fazed him."

Youngjae opened his mouth but was cut off as the door opened. An exhausted Jackson walking into the dorm, his suitcase and carry-on following. Seunghoon held the door open, his own fatigue showing in the downcast eyes and tight line of his lips. "Thank you, manager-nim." Jackson said, his already slumped shoulders sinking further.

Seunghoon smiled, "You aren't at fault. You couldn't have seen how this would end when you left for Team Wang." the man said. His eyes drifted to the two on the couch, "You need to forgive yourself. But most importantly, you need to ask for help. You can't do this alone." Youngjae smiled. His eyes going from Jackson to Jaebum, then back to the man who had been there for them since the beginning. Jackson nodded.  "I'll take my leave." All three bowed to their manager, Youngjae turning to Jaebum.

"I'll take my leave as well." Bowing to both men, "Night Jackson-hyung. Night Jaebum-hyung." he said, his footsteps shuffling back down the hall quietly.

Jackson walked further into the dorm, his normally expressive face, a blank mask. It unnerved the older, this couldn't be the boy from China with a heart big enough to fit the whole world, the hopeful young man who wanted to experience everything, and show the world they could be loved. No, this was the look of a man who had been pushed down one too many times and didn't think he could get back up. Jaebum hated it.

He wanted his Mark-hyung to be back. His rare odd comments that never had to do with what was going on around them, his stupid adorable laugh and shy smile, the pouts he couldn't keep off his face when the maknaes wouldn't listen or play with him, the encouragement he gave everyone, the light he seemed to bring to the dorm. He wanted his Hyung back so that Jackson never had to look like he'd lost everything.