Arcadia 11

Forty-One

The silence of the dorm was unheard of, in all the years since the boys had moved into this house. Markie's presence in their boisterous home brought about a startling change in all of the young men, their Little bringing out their mature and responsible side. It also brought about a better living space, having Markie crawl around on the ground and hide behind stacks of precariously stacked boxes, with one or two close calls, made them all try to be cleaner. The change was welcomed by the group and even though it could be a hassle, they all did their best to keep the peace and clean.

The careful quiet wasn't awkward nor was it introspective, more relaxing while also gearing them up for whatever age their Little was willing to be. BamBam was the most excited, he'd purchased a new outfit and pacifier for the Little and couldn't wait to dress him in it. He didn't care if he was spoiling someone four years older than him, he loved seeing his baby dressed so cutley, also the delight and giggles the Little gave when he opened presents wasn't bad either.

BamBam was broken from his thoughts by Jinyoung. The elder was still adjusting to the thought of Little's and the image he had of quiet, shy, and sometimes aggressive Mark being such an adorable and loveable baby with them. He wasn't rude, nor was he ignorant, he'd seen how far Mark spiraled before and he never wanted to see his eldest Hyung like that again. "Do you think I'm awful?" He asked, his voice had been so full of self-loathing that BamBam couldn't help but look at him, "I just... It's so..." he huffed out a breath and squared his shoulders. "I don't think I fully understand what this mindset is. He's an adult but he sometimes checks out and acts like a child. I mean, that's not normal." He held up his hands and kept going, not letting them stop his thoughts, even if BamBam wanted to slap him for his wording. "I know. I know, it helps him with stress or whatever, but there are other ways to cope. I mean, he could exercise or play video games, walk Coco, read a book, watch a movie... I mean, there's tons of things he could do, why is this what he chose?"

"Mark isn't from Korea. How would you like it if some stranger offered you a chance to be famous, but the catch was you have to move away from your family and friends, be surrounded by strangers who don't speak the same language, and never have privacy. He was constantly put down for his behavior, his speech, his way of thinking. He's been told on multiple occasions that he shouldn't even be famous and that he doesn't bring anything to the table, and that we're just carrying him. He was told when debuting that he was in charge of not only 6 other strangers, but all the tricks and choreography, for songs he didn't even like. Then when his moves didn't work, or they thought he was sloppy, they blamed him for the failures and punished him, because he's the oldest. They told him he needed to work harder or be better, that he was too fat or too loud. How would you cope?" Yugyeom asked his tone full of anger, surprising them all with his insight of Mark's vulnerabilities. BamBam stared with wide eyes at the person speaking.

"Well, Jaebum-" Jinyoung was immediately cut off from his reply by said male.

"I have been taking the brunt of responsibility for you and our shortcomings since the beginning. Mark has been forced into the spotlight every time we go somewhere that he knows the language. He's been thrown into several scandals all of which were fake, and had his name drug through the mud more than any of us know about." He leveled Jinyoung with a flat look. "Don't forget who talked you down after the MV schedule change interfered with your filming, or who actually fought for you to have some time off, when you got sick. Not to mention he's the one that stays with you in the studio when you're behind on cheoro." Jaebum said. The unimpressed look he was giving the other enough to make BamBam nervous.

Jinyoung opened and closed his mouth a few times before BamBam spoke, "Mark has been quietly reading our fan mail and giving us the best ones, while also quietly encouraging all of us from behind since the beginning. He's always making sure that we're taken care of, or do you not remember him getting us a dorm because the company didn't believe we would make it, and refused to pay for one?" He also gave Jinyoung a deadpan look, his voice filling with sarcasm. "How often do you see your family?" He asked, his feelings getting the best of him.

Jinyoung sighed, his head dipping down to his chest as he was chastised. BamBam felt bad, but wanted Jinyoung to think about Mark. "It is difficult seeing him like this, especially when we've only seen him as the dependable Hyung he's always been." Youngjae said, his smile grew as he continued to speak. He'd placed a comforting hand on Jinyoung's shoulder.  "But it shows a great deal of trust that Mark can regress around us. I was doing some research and found that unlike most coping mechanisms, regression is often prescribed to people who were forced to grow up too soon. Min Yoongi-ssi brought it to my attention that it's selfish of me to expect more than Mark can give, and that's what we've been doing all this time. Forcing him into situations he isn't comfortable with." He explained calmly, no malice in his tone. "I'll send you some links and we can even sit down with Jisoo-hyung so that he can explain it. I know we kind of threw this on you without an explanation and that's our fault." He concluded with a warm and gentle smile, unlike the others. "But we can figure out what you're comfortable with and go from there." BamBam was floored, Youngjae had been the most worried about Markie, and had turned his worry into research, and even spoke with another caregiver? He was so impressed with his Hyung for being able to admit it and even for offering to help.

The heavy atmosphere was broken by a sleepy voice, and ruffled looking Mark. "What's going on?" He asked, scratching his stomach as he looked at everyone curiously.

Jinyoung decided to speak up, feeling it best to be honest with his friend. "They were try to explain this whole 'Little' thing to me." He saw Mark tense and shrink into himself when he put air quotes into his sentence. "I feel as though, Youngjae was correct in saying that I just needed to do my research and speak with a professional about how it works and why it helps." He spoke clearly but BamBam couldn't look away from Mark. "I am not against it, nor do I wish to make you feel like you can't be yourself around us. If this helps, who am I to stop you?" He asked.

The eldest had folded his arms over his stomach and hunched his shoulders down, his eyes were on the floor and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He looked defensive, but also guarded, while also looking so fragile and small. BamBam's heart broke.

"Mark. He's not saying he doesn't like it, or you. He isn't telling you what you're doing is wrong or that he doesn't approve. He is just curious as to what regression is and why you chose that method to cope." Again, Youngjae spoke with all the wisdom. "If you don't feel comfortable we need you to tell us, just like Jinyoung has." He reminded, pulling everyone up from their thoughts and making them feel bad for speaking the way they had to the vocalist.

Mark took a deep breath and looked around, his eyes finally landing on Jackson. BamBam wasn't even annoyed when they had a silent conversation with each other. He just wanted this situation over with.