The Myths of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 2)

(12) A pirate's life for me

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before - Mae West

A big part of me was actually a little bit giddy at the chance to hurt on some unwanted space pirates. I resisted the urge to skip like a little girl but Rorick and Van still gave me some strange looks for the absurd grin on my face. Not that they were any less excited to go play with strangers, but they did managed to seem a little less psychotically happy at the prospect. I didn’t see the point in chilling my heels at the prospect, I’ve always found that is sets your opponent on edge if you look overjoyed at the prospect of bashing their teeth out and keeping them for a charm bracelet. No one likes fighting a crazy person; it’s so hard on the clothes you know?

“Where’s the likeliest point for breach?” Van asked as we bolted down walkways, my crew following so closely on my heels that if I stopped suddenly, I’d have foot treads up my ass.

My brain had already gone through the probabilities and the fact that we hadn’t visually seen the ship through the flight deck observation window helped to narrow the prospects down. Destiny is a big girl, and unless they knew me and my ship, most outsiders assumed that it had to have an equally big crew to run it. It wasn’t most Captains that could run a big ship like my Destiny with only a three body crew. Yes that’s a humble brag but seriously, most ships this size had to have at least a six body crew. So they would be coming in with at least ten marauders, unless they were suicidal or mental. Surprise would get you onto a ship, but you needed overwhelming force to take it. Of course since there were only the three of us, that ten body or more marauder team was quite likely to do some damage. Our only advantages were that Jaxom and the other labourers knew to expect unfriendliness thanks to my well timed ‘I have a bad feeling’ and that they would never be able to predict all the changes I have made to Destiny’s layout since purchase. Nothing like a good retrofit to really screw up any blueprint plan of attack they had.

“To get a proper sized team in here, we’re going to head for the main airlock to try and stop their access. However, Van I want you to go berserk at the secondary airlock door over by the engine room. They might have sent a small squad that way to shut down engines and support system to really hump my day.” I ordered and hear her peel off at the next junction without question.

My heart beat was yammering in my veins and ears, an almost giddy sounding ‘oh goodie oh goodie oh goodie!’ instead of the usual thump thump, thump thump.   Rorick and I gazelled our way to the main airlock to see that once again, I wasn’t as stupid as I looked. The airlock door was wide open with a pair of unwanted guests standing rear guard to protect their own ship’s entrance. I could hear the tread of booted feet scampering down multiple walkways away from the entrance and with the echoes of Destiny it was hard to determine if there were eight bodies running amok in my ship or more. It wasn’t a massive crew, or else the echoes would be a lot louder, but it was enough that I sincerely hoped that Jaxom was as dangerous as my well trained eye had guessed him to be. They were going to have to defend themselves for a little while, and I really did not want to have to go rescue a Blooded lady, sister or no sister. It might make me look soft on the whole noble blood thing, and that just don’t jive with my rep.

I could hear the two rear guards spot us (they suddenly started to curse, you would too if you saw the apocalyptic sight of a furious Rorick coming barrelling at you), and then my blood slave and I were running full on into them. I’m not a tiny woman by anyone’s standards. I was taller than the average by a good five inches, I’m not a dainty little thing, instead I have a good heft of muscle, and I do enough hauling around to actually be in rather great shape (if I do say so myself). Needless to say, I hit the smaller woman standing guard like a train full of bricks rail roading a bunny rabbit. She didn’t quite go squish, but I used my momentum to take her into the wall around the airlock and I know I heard something go crunch pop. It sounded a lot like that time I used a baseball bat on a watermelon come to think of it. Don’t give me that look, it’s very therapeutic to bust shit open.