Dark Academia

Part Five: Now What?

A bit before dawn, I make my way down the hall, rushing to retrieve my books before Clara or Alice wake. My footsteps echo along the spotless tiles, the last trickles of night recalling its long fingers, sliding across the floor and out the windows. I slow my pace as I make my way up the stairs, wanting to be as silent as possible. Coming upon our dorm room door, I gently push it open. It creaks slightly on its hinges. Alice stands at the window, her hands hanging onto the edges of her pockets.  Surveying the room, I ask,
    "Where's Clara?"
    Her shoulders give a slight shrug. I stand at the door, unsure of what to do with myself. Her head begins to turn as though to look at me, but stops and turns back toward the window. I cross the room, standing a bit to her side to look out the window. The sun had just begun to rise.
    "Beautiful, isn't it?"
    "Hm." I nod, standing awkwardly with my thumbs tucked into my belt. My gaze doesn't leave the brightening sky.
    "I'm sorry." She says simply, still peering out of the window. "I don't know why I did that."
    "I-" I pause, unsure of what I want to say. "Don't apologize." She turns to me, the confusion obvious on her face.
    "What?"
    "Don't apologize." I repeat, shrugging and offering her a smile. She exhales, a smile jumping onto her lips.
    "Are you..." I pause, racking my brain for the word to finish the sentence.
    "Am I...?" That wonderful thoughtful look comes over her face again. I shrug and shake my head.
    "I don't have the words." I laugh. She smiles at me again, a warm, kind smile. I enjoy that warmness.
    Do you..." She starts, then laughs, a full, ringing laugh. "I don't have the words either."
          I look back over at her, and find we're closer than I remember being. Strange.
         "Um." I say, my mouth feeling very dry. Her brow furrows, then unfurrows, and she begins to chew at the inside of her cheek.
         "What?" I ask.
         "Thinking." She simply replies, moving just a step closer. Standing this close to her I realize how much taller she is than me. I look up to meet her gaze, and in that moment I feel like a child, small and vulnerable. Just as I raise myself to the balls of my feet, the door squeals in protest as it's opened. I feel myself propelled backwards as Alice gently pushes me away from her. The sorrow returns to her eyes.
        "Ladies?" Clara questions, her eyes moving back and forth between us.
        "Alice's having boy troubles." I blurt, finding myself fighting back tears. Again with these damned tears.
        "Those damned Oak Hill boys." Clara spits, swiftly crossing the room to embrace Alice. Alice looks at me, a look of mild pain distorting her face.
         "Do you need anything?" Clara asks, holding her at arm's length.
         "No," Alice replies. "I just need to be alone." Clara nods understandingly, and turns to me, inclining her head towards the door.
         "Oh I... just need some books. I'll be right out." I was technically telling the truth. Clara shrugs, and leaves the room.
         I cross the room unsteadily to retrieve my books. I place my hands on the desk, staring at the papers piled there. I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Alice standing there.
        "So," she sighs, rubbing the back of her head. I look up at her again. She takes a step forward, closing the gap between us. My heart leaps into my throat.
          "Would you like to?"
          I nod, and she nods back. She leans forwards, pressing our foreheads together. We sit there for what seems like forever, eyes closed, breathing softly.
          I grab her collar with one hand, pulling her lips to mine. I feel her breath catch. She slips her hand into my hair, curling her fingers into it. I pull her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her waist.
        "Mary?" Clara's voice calls from the hall. Alice pulls back, gives a light smile, and says,
        "Go."
        A bit stunned, heart pounding, I collect my things. Alice retreats to her bed, resting her head on the wall behind it. I smile sheepishly at her before running out of the room.