Remember I Love You

Hey! Little author's note here before this story actually begins. This story was inspired by a comment on the video above. This song personally made me think of a plot similar to this one, but the comment really was the thing that drove it home for me. So, look for Acie SongBird's comment AFTER you read this story because you don't want to spoil the plot. I should respond to that comment with a link to this story, but if I don't, please link it to them. Basically, full credit to Acie SongBIrd for this story, I just wrote it out!

Also, this is my first ever story that I'm publishing. This is a one-shot, and therefore is in one chapter. I am always open for constructive criticism, but don't be flat out mean. Additionally, I personally don't know someone with Alzheimer's, but there is a character with that disease in this book. I looked up symptoms and behaviors, and I've seen shows with characters who also have it. If I wrote this character in an offensive way, please tell me how to rewrite her to make it better! Other than that, please enjoy "Remember I Love You"!
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I was always a dreamer. From a young age, I knew exactly what I wanted to do; I wanted to own my own clothing line. Me and my best friend Olivia had big dreams, we saved up for years and years to reach this goal. And we finally had the funds to start it up. We were ecstatic, it was a dream come true for us both. It was very costly and ambitious, but I studied business in college and she studied graphic design. It was perfect. We had everything we needed to make this great, to make a killing, to be happy.

My parents had passed away a few years prior to the day we finally got the money together. We were going to dedicate the business to them, make it in remembrance of Mama and Papa. They would have a happy ending, they could look at me from wherever they are and be proud. But she ruined everything. Old Grams got Alzheimer's and had to be taken care of. I was her only living relative, so instead of putting her in a home, I stepped up to the plate. At first it was okay. I had a stable job as an accountant and was bringing in enough money to support both of us. I held off starting the brand because I knew she would get worse and I was scared my funds wouldn't cover it.

Eventually,  like I thought, my funds couldn't cover it anymore. As her condition worsened, she needed more medication, and more help. She couldn't remember her children, her husband, or me. Ever. Before, she could remember me, it just took a while for her to get my name correct. Later on, she had nothing. She would wake up and not know where she was, she would forget what she was doing while she was cooking. She couldn't sleep correctly, she couldn't control her bowels, she would insist on doing everything herself because she was suspicious of me and then do the thing over and over because she didn't remember doing it before. I hired maids and helpers and everything, but nothing worked. She hated everyone and refused to let them do anything.

I had to put her in a home. There's places for people like her and they could do a better job than I was. Even then, it cut into me and Olivia's business fund and I knew that my dream was over. Olivia, tired of me not putting in the money to get this started, left me. She moved to her dream town with her husband, never knowing about Grams or my monetary issues. I started working a part time job alongside my accounting position, I slept 3 hours a day, I was struggling and Gram's condition was worsening.

It had been 6 years since the woman got diagnosed. She couldn't do anything by herself, she couldn't remember who she was or how to read and write. She screamed at me, yelled at me, berated me constantly. I was consistently losing money, and had no friends or family besides Grams. I barely slept or ate, and above all, I was angry. I was angry at the woman who ruined my life. I started having these vivid dreams, or maybe they were hallucinations, I don't really know, of happiness. Of the day the nurse came up to me and broke the news that the woman had succumbed to Alzheimer's and I was free. I could live my life again.

My days blended together, all I felt was anger at her. I wasn't happy, I was insane and angry. I couldn't tell when I was sleeping, when I needed to do something, when I was dreaming or hallucinating. Somehow I went to work and kept my job for 3 of those years but eventually lost it. I cut into my retirement money, my insurance money, anything to pay for her, all while waiting for the day she would die. I could be free from this cycle, free from the torture that was my mental state.

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't realize it at the time, I really didn't realize much but it was April 12th, the 7th anniversary of her diagnosis and the 7th anniversary of when hell broke out. I knew what I had to do to fix it, to end my suffering. It was me or her, and I was going to stop the one who caused all the pain. I had a pistol in my top drawer, buried under my socks so Gram couldn't find it when she came over once a year. I grabbed it and ran out to my car. I shouldn't have had a licence looking back at my mental state, but somehow cops hadn't found me yet.

I sped to the house she was in, told the receptionist I was taking her to the park for her one day out she gets a year. I had visited the woman every day for the past 6 years, so they all trusted me. I wish they hadn't. I drove her out to the park and sat down on the bench we used to spend Saturday's together, before she lost herself.

"Gram. Look out there. You see the water? Isn't it beautiful?" I asked, pointing to the lake. 

"Get away from me you demon! You look like a...a....whatever, I can't remember what its called. Either way, leave me here...where are we again?" she said, forgetting things all over the place.

"Do you know about death anymore Grams?"

"I'm alive and well you stupid idiot!" she screamed.

"I'm sorry Grammie, but I have to do this. Just remember, I love you, okay?" I said, before standing up, running back about 5 feet, to the edge of the lake, and pulled the pistol from my belt. I aimed it at her head, wavering from the sheer excitement that this would all be over soon.

"What the hell is that thing? Get it away from me!" she screamed, not knowing what the gun was

"Hey Grams, don't worry. It won't hurt a bit. I've put up with...this....with you for TOO long now. I can't take it. I don't know what else to do, I can't. Just know, I really love you. I would never hurt you if I didn't have to." I stated, taking another step forward.

"You imbecile! How dare you speak to me that way! Leave me be!" she yelled.

"I CAN'T Grams. I CAN'T do this any longer. I sit by YOU for hours a day. I lost my JOB, my DREAMS, OLIVIA. Because of YOU and your stupid DISEASE. I'm ending this the only way I can. I really really love you Grams, just know that, okay?" I said, taking another step forward, now hovering over her.

"Whatever you are doing, do it away from me. I can't take this nonsense anymore," Grams stated, turning her head.

"HEY!" I screamed. "Look at me, I need to make sure this is a clean shot. Should be painless," I chuckled, flicking the safety off on the gun. I put a new round in, just in case, and put my finger on the trigger.

"Grams, I'm truly sorry, but this is all I know to do. I love you, but I HATE YOU, YOU RUINED ME," I screamed, before pulling the trigger.

Have you heard of this thing where Alzheimer's patients regain their memory for a short time? Grams knew me at that moment. I heard her, I heard that scream of "Maggie!" before the bullet hit. I don't remember much about that moment, other than the amount of sheer terror in that scream and how much my hand was shaking. But as punishment for the terrible thing I did, I have to re-watch this day over and over. And now, re-watching, I saw her lift out of her wheelchair and collapse over my body, a clean gunshot through my brain.