20 Days To Fall In Love

#13 - Loose Ends

Chapter 13 - Loose Ends
published: Thursday, 7 May 2020

Matthew's arms wrapped around the glass bottles, inhaling and exhaling rhythmically as he used his elbow to knock on the door.

It swung open to reveal Yanhao, the Chinese-American student who lived across the hall from them.

"Hi," Matthew said nervously.

Yanhao gave him a weird look. To be fair, if someone turned up on his doorstep with bottles of alcohol, Matthew wasn't sure he would be fine with it either.

"Throwing out all our alcohol," Matthew explained. "I was wondering if you wanted any of it?"

Yanhao's face lit. "I mean, yeah, that's a great idea. Henry and I were just planning to have a party tonight. Sure, I'll take them."

As he reached out his arms, Matthew clenched his jaw. Giving away his alcohol felt like the final seal on his decision.

Tying up the loose ends in his life had been Frederick's idea. Matthew had to admit that, objectively, it was smart not to have anything around to tempt him, but this was...he'd always had alcohol whenever he needed.

What if he got in a fight with his father? What if he couldn't sleep? What he was craving it again?

The image of James' horrified expression flashed through Matthew's brain.

"Yeah, here," he managed, handing the bottles one by one to Yanhao.

Hastily taking a step back once it was all gone, Matthew released a shuddering breath. God, he-he'd done. He'd done it.

So this was really happening then.

"Do you want to come?" Yanhao asked absently, checking the labels on the bottles, probably taking inventory.

Matthew froze, his throat constricting as he struggled to breathe. Was the corridor getting smaller?

His fist clenched and unclenched relentlessly, fingernails digging into his palm.

Go to the party?

Yanhao looked at him in concern. "Are you okay?"

"I-I," Matthew stammered. Every nerve screamed "yes", even though his brain warned him not to.

A party? Especially one in a dorm? God, no, he couldn't-

"He's not okay because you're still here." Maya swept in, eyes blazing and arms on her hips. "Cheater."

Another presence brushed past his arm. Matthew glanced to his right in surprise to see Elizabeth standing there, shooting him a smile.

"Um," Yanhao blushed furiously. Clearly, he hadn't forgotten about their bad break-up.

"Are we invited to this party?" Maya challenged ferociously, arms folded as she glared at him.

Yanhao spluttered unintelligibly for a few moments before he choked out a "yeah". Maya flashed him a smile that didn't meet her eyes in response.

Yanhao seemed to shake the daze away as he turned to Matthew, avoiding Maya's gaze. "What about you? You coming?"

Matthew swallowed. "Uh-"

"He's not free," Elizabeth interrupted suddenly. "We're hanging out tonight."

His eyebrows shot skyward as he threw a surprised glance her way.