Chasing Charming ✔️

5 - Start With One Person

That night I wrote down my list of five things I could do to have the best Junior year ever. Only five things and I could call the year a success. It felt somewhat achievable until I stared at it all together.

1. Make some friends

2. Start back up my business online (hopefully, the New Mexico market was just as lucrative as the Arizona market)

3. Stand up for myself

4. Help my dad make his store a SUCCESS

5. Have my first kiss

I crossed out the last one. I hadn't been able to do that during all of middle school or in the previous two years of high school, so why did I think I would be able to do that in a brand new place?

But if I didn't try, then it would never happen, right?

I sighed and put it back on the list.

I went to bed, hoping that Tuesday would be better.

---

It was. I guess some people had heard what had happened to me yesterday because a group of girls in my grade had asked me about it. They invited me to sit with them in our photography class, and I graciously accepted. They were sympathetic about what had happened, and they explained that it was a stupid senior tradition that started about ten years ago. I almost growled... stupid Glee.

"Do they do that to the freshman too?"

One of the girls nodded her head, "but only ones that no one knows. If you know someone, you're safe. If you're 'fresh meat' as some guy put it, then you are going to be very unlucky."

I shook my head. "Damn, that sucks."

These girls were nice, but the conversation quickly turned into some anime show that they all watched together, and I got lost. They tried to keep me involved but gave up when they realized that I had nothing to say about anime or the other shows that they watched together. They seemed slightly disturbed when they asked me what shows I watch, and the only show that I had a significant opinion on was the Bachelor franchise, which I watched with my parents. They pressed further, and I said that I watched the Vampire Diaries and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which I guess they were not into either. I explained I enjoyed movies much more, but my taste in horror movies and old romances didn't seem to excite them.

Eventually, I faded out of the conversation. My mom had explained to me last week that I had to try and take an interest in what other kids were doing. I couldn't keep holding on to the things my old friends and I did.

I would have to try new things and make new traditions. But it was harder than it looked, especially since I had to make a whole new group of friends, not just try to befriend one person.

"Maybe start with one person, Betty," my mom had said to me.

---

The week went by, and I wasn't struggling to fit in, but I hadn't exactly found any friends either.

I wanted to spend my evenings watching cheesy romance movies and bad horror movies. I ached to run around outside and go on strange adventures. I desired to find friends who shared my love for vintage fashion. Friends who loved milkshakes and drive-ins as much as I did. I wanted friends who wanted to find a lake and jump in the water. I wanted friends who would party with me, and even though it was ridiculous, I wanted friends who loved all of these things, not just little pieces.

These things on their own aren't strange, but I had the fantastic opportunity to grow up creating these interests with the same group of friends. New people have different interests and rituals. I don't think I would ever really have what I had with those friends again, and I was upset about it.