Hope-Jaden Hossler

♡4♡

After what happened at the lake, Jaden came back to my house. We were currently cuddling watching Netflix. Everything just felt perfect, it felt like nothing could go wrong. When the film finished, I asked Jaden what we should watch but he didn't reply, I looked up at him and he looked distracted. I gave him a tap on the shoulder and he came out of his stance

You okay?
Yeah, I was just wondering something
What is it

⚠mentions of self harm and abuse⚠

Why do you cut?
You wouldn't understand
I might, you don't have to tell me he interlocked our fingers, I looked down, leaning against his chest, using my other hand to play with his rings as I spoke
Well I guess I've always hated myself, I look in the mirror and all I see is this fat ugly girl looking back at me I felt tears falling from my eyes
Everyone I get close with ends up leaving me, even my so called best friends. My dad left when I was 9, he used to hit me and my mum. I remember feeling so helpless. Then one day when I was 15 (there 17) I was using this sharpener and it dropped, I couldn't find it so I gave up, later on I stepped on something, I looked down but it was broken. I obviously picked all the plastic and shit up but I cut my finger on the blade, I guess that's where it all started. I've always tried to stop,I've only gone a week without doing it. I always thought no one would find out
⚠Triggering things over⚠
As I finished I sat up and burst into tears, Jaden came closer to me and gave me a hug, kissing the top of my head while running his hand up and down my back

It's okay baby

He whispered in my ear, when I stopped crying, I looked up at Jayden

Please don't tell anyone about this
I won't, you don't ever have to worry about that
thank you, it means a lot
No worrys, I should go
Please can you stay the night
Yeah sure

I put my laptop away and got under the covers, Jaden came next to me, we may there looking into each others eyes

Your so fucking beautiful
Jaden, stop I said dragging the p
It's true, you may not see it but I do

I yawned, feeling tired. I felt Jaden get closer to me until my head was resting on his chest, and just like that, I fell asleep listening to his heartbeat