November, 6 months together
Harry loves Louis with everything in him. He also knows that Louis loves him. Ever since they first said 'I love you' last month Harry has been thinking. He's been thinking about Louis and Eleanor.
If Louis loves him, then why is he still with Eleanor?
Now Harry is NOT /completely/ doubting Louis' love for him...He's just wondering.
He knows coming out is hard and scary and very very risky. But if Louis loves him then wouldn't that risk be worth it?
He feels wrong for questioning Louis' love but he just can't ignore the fact that Louis is still with Eleanor. He's still living with Eleanor. He's still going on dates with Eleanor. He's still kissing Eleanor. It makes Harry's blood boil. Jealousy runs through his veins along with hurt. And jealousy and hurt are mixed in with his tears.
He just wishes that he was the one going out on dates with Louis and not sneaking around for their dates. He wishes that it was him sleeping beside Louis. He wishes that Louis would come out for him.
Is that selfish? Is Harry selfish?
Maybe he is. But he hates feeling like a 'dirty little secret'. He hates that before he can kiss Louis he has to make sure no one is around. He hates that when he holds Louis' hand, that the same one will be holding Eleanor's. He hates knowing that when he kisses Louis, those same lips will be touching Eleanor's. He hates that he can't even have a proper dinner with Louis because he always has one with Eleanor later. He hates that when he tells Louis 'I love you' those same words will be coming out of Eleanor's mouth later. He hates that he has to 'share' Louis.
He doesn't want to force Louis out.
He didn't come out just to have to hide again.
He hates hiding.
But he loves Louis so it makes it okay.
"Harry," Louis murmurs, pulling Harry out of his thoughts, "Are you crying, love?" Louis asks stepping closer to his boyfriend who's curled up on his bed, "Are you alright?"
Harry stays quiet. Holding back his cries.
Louis kneels down beside the bed and gently pulls the blanket off of Harry's head. His heart rips in half seeing his boyfriend look so sad, so hurt. He wipes Harry's wet cheeks before threading his fingers through his soft curls, "What's wrong, baby? Are you alright?"
Harry let's out a chocked sob, "No."
YOU ARE READING
Rather Be - Larry Stylinson mpreg
FanficLouis has been a footie star since he was sixteen. He's nineteen now. Nineteen with an amazing life. Records. A beautiful girlfriend that he 'loves'. His supportive family. But his life doesn't feel right. That changes when Harry Styles, a seventeen...
